The Knight's Absolute Choice
by ElfCollaborator
Summary: What if one was forced to choose between two equally unsavoury choices? What if one was forced into Absolute Choice? The curse of Absolute Choice strikes one Jaune Arc, with all the implications and hilarity it brings. Rated T for risque situations and shenanigans. AU, OOC. RWBY/NouCome fusion fic.
1. Absolute Choice, Part 1

"Pervert!" A shoe flew through the air, aimed directly at his head. Jaune only managed to move his head in time to dodge it, cringing as he heard it thud on the wall directly behind him.

"What are you doing with _that_?!"

"Put it down!"  
"I knew Jaune could sink _low_ , but to be a complete pervert-!"

' _I really am roasted..._ ' Jaune trembled in his place, his legs shivering and the object in his hands fluttering in the wind of the air conditioning in the corridors. The boy backed up against the wall, shaking his head.

"G-guys! I didn't...this wasn't me! I promise! I swear, I didn't do it on purpose!"

"No self-respecting normal guy would do something like _that_!"

The crowd was rounding on Jaune, and he was running out of breathing space. The crowd consisted of male students and female students, clad in the Beacon uniform, staring at him accusingly. Jaune shook his head, sinking down to one knee.

Weiss was in her chair, shuddering and blushing, shaking her head as the rest of the classroom rounded on him.

"P-please! I'm serious! I...I didn't..."

He held up the object in his hands, trying to discard it as best as he could.

"Damn it..."

The object was a pair of white, snowflake-embroidered panties, with the owner's name, 'Weiss Schnee', sewn on in gold thread around the top, made of fine silk.

And Jaune had pulled it out of his backpack.

 _You're probably wondering what on Remnant's going on, aren't you? Well, dear reader, nothing is ever as it seems._

 _After all, it would be far too easy to make Jaune the loveable sex maniac of the tale we weave today, and it would be even easier to make him the accidental pervert- not that he isn't one right now, but there is a far more...interesting reason for his current predicament._

* * *

 _This morning, JNPR dorm..._

It was a beautiful day, by all accounts. The skies were blue, the clouds fluffy and almost luminous, and the scent of spring was everywhere, filtering in through the open window.

Of course, that could've been the pollen talking, and certainly, the unfortunate part of the population with allergies had absolutely no reason to believe today was a good day. However, for one Jaune Arc, he had all the reason to believe it was.

The boy groaned, wrenching himself out of his bed. He almost rolled out of bed, dumping his blanket on the floor. Rubbing his head, Jaune calmly picked up his blanket, flapping it out to rid it of dust and crumbs from Nora's pancakes the night before.

That girl ate nothing but pancakes, and left them all over the dorm; indeed, it was a miracle their dorm hadn't been condemned for an infestation of rats or cockroaches or whatever assorted pests fed on pancakes and pastries. It didn't help she draped the things in maple syrup and butter, either.

Jaune chuckled to himself as he picked up Nora's plates, calmly heading over to the dorm's sink to clean them up. He shivered slightly as the cold water ran over his hands and the smell of soap his nostrils. The knight rubbed a soapy sponge over the plates, ridding them of maple syrup and crumbs.

"You're up early, Jaune."

The knight jumped, looking behind him to see who had suddenly spoken behind him. It was just Pyrrha, clad in a thin red nightgown, her crimson hair draped behind her untied and somewhat unkempt. She smiled softly at Jaune, who settled back down, no longer startled.

"It's just you," Jaune clutched his chest with his dry hand, sighing. "You made me jump. I really didn't hear you wake up."  
Pyrrha chuckled briefly. "It's alright. I was simply wondering why you were up so early. You're not excited for lessons, are you?"  
"No, no. I just thought I'd sort out the dorm. It's pretty messy, what with all the plates Nora leaves and all the crumbs..." The knight shrugged casually. "It's nothing, really."  
Pyrrha frowned. "That is...pretty hard work, knowing Nora's habits. Would you like me to...help?"  
"N-no!" Jaune shook his head quickly. "I mean, no. You can just go back to bed! It's fine, really. I can handle it."  
The spearmaiden nodded briefly. "You don't have to be so considerate all the time, Jaune. I did offer my help.

Are you entirely sure you can handle it?"  
"I promise." Jaune laughed. "I can't handle a fight, but I can handle housekeeping. I don't need you to train me for _that_ , really.

Cleaning up after seven sisters is pretty hard, after all."

"...you must tell me more about your sisters some time..." Pyrrha requested, tilting her head. "You sound like you love them very much."  
"I am the big brother, after all. I've got to watch out for my own."

"I...see." The spearmaiden smiled sweetly at him. "You're far better of a person than you give yourself, you know."  
Jaune was taken aback by her sudden profound comment, blushing slightly and rubbing the back of his head. "I...uh...you too, Pyrrha?"

Pyrrha blushed herself, rubbing her arm softly. "...u-um."

The temperature in the room seemed to jump up three degrees. Jaune swore he'd put the heating down last night- or maybe it was his reddening cheeks.

Definitely the heating. The situation wasn't that awkward, was it?

"J-just...get back to bed already!" The knight cried. "I-I can handle it, honest!"

"Alright..." Pyrrha sounded slightly disappointed as she retreated back to bed at the other end of the room. At least, Jaune swore she was disappointed.

He thought his hearing had been pretty off since last night, as Pyrrha had accidentally hit him pretty hard in the head during training. The nurse had cleared him after a brief check-up, but he did feel as if something was off.

He felt like something incredibly stupid and completely out of the usual was going to happen; the type of thing that happened only in the sort of anime where crazy women who couldn't spit it out beat up the ones they loved while claiming not to love them, or the sort of fanfic where Blake of all people was a hot-blooded mech pilot; Jaune had read those and he found them completely terrible.

Of course, he had absolutely no reason to think something stupid would happen. After all, this was reality, and surely shenanigans like that hardly happened in real life, right?

* * *

 _Two hours later..._

Jaune slipped on his jacket, stretching his arms and grabbing his bag from a nearby chair. Pyrrha was in front of the dorm's dressing table, making sure her ponytail was fixed right and slipping it behind her head.

Nora was practically bursting with excitement, as always. She was almost vibrating with the amount of jumping she was doing.

"Are we going to blow things up today?" Nora inquired, bobbing her head about. "Come on, they said they'd let us blow things up today?"  
"Professor Port said he would let us help inflate Edgar's new toy." Ren pointed out calmly, rubbing his temples. "Not the same thing."

"Awww...but whyyyyy?!" The berserker whined, stomping the ground childishly. "That's not fair! I want to do fun things!"

Jaune laughed, shaking his head. "Someday, Nora. Guys, I'm heading up to class first. I want to drop by my locker first. You guys alright?"  
"Alright." Pyrrha nodded, waving at him briefly. "See you later, Jaune."

"See you around!" The knight waved back, before walking out of the room and strolling down the corridor.

' _...it's been...pretty awkward with Pyrrha, lately.'_ Jaune reflected, looking down as he made his way down to the lockers. _'...I mean, I'm not in an anime, right? She's blushing a lot, and wanting to know more about me, but this isn't an anime._

 _I don't think she'd really...no way. Gah, why am I thinking about this?'_

Jaune suddenly stumbled over something on the floor, tripping forward a small distance. He blinked, shaking his head to reacquire his bearings. He studied the object he'd tripped upon.

It wasn't something too big- just a small phone, covered in stickers of various cute versions of Grimm and with a small, cute pink strap attached to the top. He blinked, crouching and picking up the phone, examining it closely.

"Who dropped this?" The knight stared at it briefly, before a doe Faunus girl ran across to him, looking down at him.

"T-that's mine. I-I accidentally dropped it w-while I was r-running..." The Faunus girl stated, frowning. "C-Can I have it back?"

Jaune nodded. "Sure, no problem. I-"

" _Choose._ "

A shudder shot through Jaune's spine, as a deep voice sounded in his head. He blinked briefly, looking up, and he heard it again, asking him to-

" _Choose._ "  
"Huh?" Jaune looked up at the girl. "Did you say something?"

The doe Faunus stared at him strangely. "Huh? I just asked you about m-my phone-"

" _Your first choice is to sniff the phone like a dog, panting like one and looking at her. Alternatively, you may lick the phone while staring at her creepily._ " The voice continued speaking to Jaune, a small tone of amusement within the voice. Jaune looked up and around himself, and the world seemed to change before his eyes.

The signs that once gave him directions to the various parts of the school had their text changed to reflect the absurd choices he had been given. Jaune's eyes widened.

' _W-what...what kind of choice is that? It's just in my head- I'm just seeing things. I have a concussion from last night, that's all! I don't have to-_ '

A sharp barb of pain shot through Jaune's head, forcing him to the ground.

"Agh!"  
The doe Faunus tilted her head. "W-what's wrong?"

" _You must choose. Sniff the phone and look at her like a dog, or lick it and stare at her creepily."_

' _U-ugh...no way!'_ Jaune declared mentally, shaking his head. _'I won't do it._ '

Another shot of pain pulsed through his head. The knight clutched his temple, blinking with the pain.

" _Choose. Sniff it like a dog, or lick it like a pervert."_

' _U-ugh...the pain won't stop! I...I have to choose..._

 _...I have to pick one...fine...I'll sniff it, I'll sniff it! Leave me alone...'_

Jaune shuddered briefly, shaking his head and looking up at the girl apologetically. "I...I'm sorry for what I'm about to do..."

"Huh-"

The knight reluctantly sniffed the phone deeply, taking in its scent- it smelled faintly of strawberry perfume. As the girl stared at him, eyes widening, he felt his head begin to shift upwards, his face twisting into an apologetic expression.

' _N-no...what the hell is this thing doing to me?'_

He stared at her with puppy-like eyes, whimpering as he handed the phone to her. The doe Faunus stared at him, shaking her head.

"W-what are you doing? Y-you're not a dog..."

"I...I'm...sorry-"

The doe Faunus took her phone back from him, leaving Jaune to look down at his hands in shock.

' _What the...what just...happened?_ _What forced me to do that? Am I hallucinating?'_

Jaune shuddered, gathering himself and standing up. _'...I'm just hallucinating. That's all! I'll just head to class and drop by the nurse later._

 _Then it'll all be fine!'_

* * *

Jaune breathed heavily as he strolled into Professor Port's class, shaking his head and rubbing his head, trying to get his bearings.

"Alright. That voice is gone." The knight breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm...I'm safe now, right?"  
"Jaune?"

The knight jumped slightly, staring to his left to see none other than the Legendary Ice Queen, Weiss Schnee.

"...W-Weiss!" The knight stated, relieved, as he rubbed the back of his head. "Right, right, hi!"

"You're babbling to yourself." The heiress muttered irritably, closing her eyes and shaking her head. "What are you doing?"  
"I...I've just had a bit of a rough way here. I kinda tripped and hit my head on the way here." The knight explained, laughing nervously. "Nothing really happened, really!"

"Quit muttering to yourself then." Weiss sighed, shaking her head. "You must've hit your head harder than you believed, but if you believe you're fine, then I won't pressure you further.

So, Jaune. Do you have the notes on Grimm Biology I lent to you last night?"

"...y-yeah! Of course!" Jaune laughed again, digging around in his bag for the large binder containing the notes he'd been lent. "They were really useful, Weiss! Haha, thanks..."  
"You're laughing like a buffoon..." The heiress muttered irritably.

" _Choose_."

Jaune's eyes widened in terror as the voice returned, its voice deep as ever. His world suddenly faded into a flurry of what appeared to be two choice boxes, surrounding him entirely in a perfect cylinder, listing out his choices for him.

The knight tried to ignore the signs, looking away and closing his eyes.

' _...I-I'm hallucinating again. It's fine, as long as I ignore it, it won't-'_

" _You may either pull out a pair of Weiss' panties before you pull out her binder, or you may pull out a dead rat."_

' _That's absurd! I'm not picking either-'_

Jaune felt the same pain shoot through his head again. He cried out in pain, clutching his temples with his hands.

" _A pair of Weiss' panties, or a dead rat. You must choose immediately."_

' _...a pair of Weiss'...panties? Okay, I know this isn't real.'_ Jaune sighed in relief, still gritting his teeth to ignore the pain. _'...no way this thing can make me summon h-her panties, right? Right?_

 _...fine, fine, I'll pull out her panties. It's not like this voice can really-'_

Something soft and silky filled Jaune's hands and he stopped.

' _...no. Impossible.'_ The knight felt the material, shuddering in fear. _'Please tell me this isn't..._ '

Reluctantly, Jaune pulled out the object. Weiss stopped briefly, before staring at the object in abject horror and embarrassment.

It was a pair of Weiss' panties; pale-blue and marked with a snowflake, with her name embroidered into the top with golden thread.

"...h-how..." The heiress stared at the panties and then at Jaune, blushing profusely. "...i-impossible..."

' _Oh no. Oh gods no.'_

"You...PERVERT!" Weiss roared, turning the entire room's attention to him and the underwear in his hands.

' _What the...how did it...no, no!'_ Jaune shook his head in horror as he looked at Weiss' panties in his hand.

"I-I didn't...I-"  
"Pervert!"

A shoe soared through the air at Jaune, one which he barely dodged.

* * *

 _The power of choice is an interesting force- it has mended relationships, broken alliances, created technological advancements and caused catastrophic wars beyond measure. There are those who take choice for granted, who ignore the power that free will grants to them, not understanding its role in the formation of the world they know today._

 _But what will one do when forced to make decisions? What will one do when faced with an Absolute Choice?_

 _That is the tale we shall tell about our so-cursed protagonist, a tale of decisions and a tale of romance._

 _This is the tale of the Knight's Absolute Choice._

* * *

 **To be continued...**

* * *

 **DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise Jaune would have a badass steed to go with his knight motif.**

 **NouCome belongs to Takeru Kasukabe.**

 **A/N: Welcome, one and all, to a new concept I had. Recently, I heard of this nice light novel series-now adapted to an anime- which, like all good light novel series, has a shortened name from it's ridiculously long name to something easy to say, which is in this case, NouCome. The full English title translates to "My Mental Choices are Completely Interfering with my School Romantic Comedy"...which sums up this story as a whole.**

 **The whole concept of the story is that an unfortunate sod of a boy is basically forced to choose between two sadistic choices- the aforementioned Absolute Choice- or suffer constant, incurable and severe headaches, and reality will warp itself to facilitate his choice- as you saw when Jaune pulled out Weiss' panties when he clearly couldn't have gotten them at all.**

 **I decided it was a good idea to give one to Jaune, too. For those curious, this fic takes place in a lighter version of canon (White Fang not as big a threat, less Grimm attacks) and with, obviously, Absolute Choice.**

 **So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, criticisms, suggestions, reviews and thoughts, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	2. Absolute Choice, Part 2

Jaune backed up against the classroom door, his right hand propped up to support himself, as the crowd rounded on him. Weiss was looking down at her hands, shuddering.

"I...but...I locked my..." The heiress was blushing, looking between her hands, uncomprehending between "...he can't have...n-no..."

A girl from the crowd rounding on Jaune threw another shoe at him, one which nailed him right on the shoulder. "PERVERT!"

The knight winced, clutching his shoulder as he backed up against the door.

' _Dammit...does this thing have no mercy...'_ Jaune thought, his hand slapping against the doorknob to pull himself out of the room.

He froze as he realised that the door he was pressed against only opened from the outside.

' _Oh, you have_ got _to be kidding me, first the phone, then her panties...then...'_ Jaune sighed in exasperation.

' _I'm definitely in some sort of screwed-up anime now...'_

He closed his eyes and allowed his fate to overtake him as the crowd closed in on him.

...

Jaune set on a bench along the corridors, sighing. He, miraculously, wasn't marked by the beating he'd received from the class for being a pervert- not something he'd wanted to do, too- and had spent a while futilely trying to convince Weiss he hadn't stolen any of her panties- all he'd gotten from her was a glare that could kill King Taijitu and freeze the corpse solid.

He rubbed his weary eyes, looking down at the linoleum floor.

"Dammit." The knight cursed, gripping the bench. "Just what did I do to deserve this? I swear, I must've really angered some _really_ sadistic god or something.

It's not a hallucination, because I...I definitely pulled... _those_ out..." The knight blushed at the thought of the underwear he'd somehow pulled from his bag without having even seen a pair of them before. "...and every time I tried to resist a choice, I had a headache...

Is it some sort of curse?" Jaune concluded, rubbing his chin pensively. "It has to be a curse or something...but magic doesn't exist, right? No, no, but there's no Semblance that works like that. I've never heard of a Semblance that works like that.

Even the mind-control Semblances need the person to be within a certain radius of the target...thank Dust, at least Oobleck's class is good for _something_...but wait, wait, that means it's magic. There's...no such thing as magic, right?"

"Is something wrong?"

Jaune blinked, looking up from his thoughts at the girl who had interrupted them. He was taken aback by what he saw.

* * *

She was about his height, he wagered, give or take an inch or two. Her most distinctive feature was her long, ivory hair, falling down her back in soft waves, with serene, grey eyes, which exuded the same warmness contained in the small, motherly smile on her pale face.

Her clothing was familiar- it resembled Weiss' beloved bolero jacket, dress and skirt ensemble, but the jacket was replaced with an elegant white winter coat, lined with blue fur from some unknowable animal, and the skirt was longer, reaching down to her knees. Her shoes, too, were similar to Weiss'- instead of reaching to her knees, they were smaller, more glass-like, giving the impression of being hewn from pure, clear ice, with black stockings reaching up past her skirt covering the rest of her legs.

Jaune, of course, concentrated on her clothes to ignore the second most distinctive feature of her body- her rather considerable chest. Were it not for that, he could've mistaken her for an older, more lady-like; not that she wasn't that already to begin with- Weiss.

"I...uh..." Jaune rubbed the back of his head. "It's nothing, really-"  
"No, please." The girl frowned. "I would prefer you speak now. I am told it's better for one to speak about their problems."

"You really, err...wouldn't want to know. It's pretty stupid."

"I insist." The girl sat next to him.

The knight sighed- clearly, this girl, whoever she was, wasn't going to leave him alone.

"Alright." Jaune closed his eyes, exhaling deeply, before wincing, clutching his stomach. The girl tilted her head, worried.

"Are you hurt?  
"That's kind of the reason I'm a little depressed, actually. I kinda got beaten up."

She was clearly taken aback. "Who would do such a thing?"  
"I...kinda brought it down on myself, really." Jaune explained. "I pulled out a girl's panties from my bag.

B-before you slap me, I d-didn't know they were there, and I t-tried to explain, and they didn't believe me, and I know you do-"  
"I see. They jumped to conclusions..." The girl interrupted him, frowning. "I believe you did not take the underwear on purpose.

You do not seem that type."  
Jaune blushed profusely, looking away and chuckling. "Eheh...t-thanks for the compliment..."

"My name is Winter. Winter Schnee." The girl smiled warmly at him, extending her hand. "I do not believe we have met before- I am in the older class, and I have been away on a very long mission.

This is my first day back at Beacon, and I decided to take time off classes to take a rest before I return."

Jaune froze when Winter told him her name.

' _W-Winter...S-Schnee? Y-you mean s-she's Weiss'...s-sister!? S-she's_ that _Winter?!'_ The knight started to panic. _'T-that means...s-she has to know about the panty thing, right?_

 _I'm going to die here. This is it, I'm going to die. She's probably going to freeze me to death for perving on her little sis...t-this can't get any worse-'_

"And from your account, you must be the boy who my sister claims stole her underwear." Winter calmly deduced, stopping the knight dead in his tracks.

"I-I..."

"...do not worry." Winter chuckled briefly. "I am not going to hurt you. I don't believe you stole her underwear, after all. It must be some sort of prank."

' _Oh Dust...d-did she just...forgive me? I'm taking it.'_

"Y-yeah! Of course!" The knight hastily responded, his voice stuttering. "I mean, t-there's no way I'd sneak into your sister's room and do something like _that_ , I mean, that'd be pretty perverted-!"

Winter giggled slightly, covering her mouth. "You seem nervous."

"O-of course, yeah-wait, wait, I'm being so rude! I'm sorry! I-I'm...I'm Jaune Arc! I'm in Class One!" Jaune hastily shook her hand with a firm grip. "I-I'm really sorry for bothering your sister, M-Miss Schnee!"

"No need to worry. You are not in trouble." The lady explained, still smiling. "I would also ask you to call me Winter, but I fear I am also accustomed to referring to others by their titles, Mister Arc." She laughed. "I am a...an animal of habits? Is that the word for it?"

"C-creature."

"Oh. Forgive me." Winter looked slightly embarrassed. "I am unfamiliar with commoner expressions, but I have been making an effort to use them to be easier to understand..."

"I-it's alright...w-wait, are you sure you're not mad that I-"  
"If you truly were not at fault, then I believe you. You seem very trustworthy, Mister Arc. However, what intrigues me is how her underwear got into your bag in the first place."

Jaune froze for the umpteenth time that day.

' _C-crap. I can't tell her that some voice in my head put that thing in my bag! I'll sound insane, even if she is pretty nice..._

 _I'll just have to go with the prank explanation. She won't believe me about the voice, no way.'_

"It must've been a prank, like you said! I mean, I have a pretty crazy roommate or two..." Jaune explained, laughing nervously.

"Curious...Weiss' closet was locked tightly and unopened when she went back to her room this morning...but no matter." Winter exhaled briefly, and Jaune had to close his eyes to not draw his eyes towards her chest.

' _She might be right about me being a p-pervert...I-I can't stop myself from staring...'_

"S-shouldn't you be getting along now?" Jaune inquired hopefully. Winter frowned, beginning to get up.

"Do you not wish to talk to me? I will...leave you alone, if that is the case-"  
The knight shook his head hastily. "N-no, it's just that you seemed like you were going to go somewhere and it seemed like I was distracting you. I mean, I don't want to keep you, you probably have a lot of things to do as an older Huntress-in-training..."  
"One might be mistaken." Winter calmly stated. "However, I must check on my own dorm. I have had it fumigated and I must ensure the sheets have been returned.

Thank you for reminding me, Mister Arc."

Though her voice had not changed, Jaune had noticed the warmth in it had gone briefly when she'd spoken, as if she had suddenly been reminded of something undesirable.

The lady stood up. "Perhaps we may meet later, Mister Arc? It was interesting, speaking to you."  
"Yeah, of course! We could, um, talk over breakfast!" Jaune laughed. "I mean, that's kinda my hidden talent, you could say, conversation!

They don't call me Smooth Jauney for nothing."

"Smooth Jauney." Winter giggled. "That sounds amusing-"

His vision suddenly clouded. Jaune's eyes widened in terror as realisation dawned upon his face. The familiar red-and-blue decision boxes surrounded him and blocked out his vision, taunting him with the utter sadism within them. He knew what was coming now, but it still horrified him.

" _Choose._ "

' _No. No no no no no!'_ Jaune shook his head in terror, as he realised the voice had come back. _'Come on! I just got her to like me! Please-_ '

" _You may stand and stumble with your face pressed into Winter's chest and your nose bleeding, like a pervert. Or you may slide face-up between her legs, looking between her legs with your nose bleeding and drool streaming from your mouth, like a stalker."_ The voice intoned, again with a vague sense of amusement- perhaps at the absurd choices it tormented him with.

' _...I-I can't...'_

More pain shot through his temples. Jaune winced- at least this time, the pain wasn't as bad, or perhaps he had been desensitized by the earlier incidents.

" _Plant your face into her chest and have a nosebleed like a pervert, or slide between her legs and drool with your nose bleeding, like a stalker. Choose._ "

' _Dammit, that smarts! At least I can pass off the first one as an accident...'_ Jaune closed his eyes, shuddering.

' _I'm sorry, Winter, I really am... Choice One, if you must...'_

The boxes disappeared, and Winter was within his vision again. She looked concerned.

"Mister Arc?" The lady inquired, holding her finger to her lip curiously. "Are you alright?"  
"I am. I just-wah!" Jaune stood up before slipping and stumbling forward, his face landing perfectly in the center of Winter's large chest.

It was a snug fit. Quite warm, too, and pretty soft.

' _...it's really...warm in here..kinda squish-w-wait, why am I thinking like this? Dammit, now I'm_ turning _into one of those perverted anime heroes who actually steal panties and stuff...'_

The knight felt a wetness stream from his nose, as he quickly wrenched himself from Winter's bosom, pinching his nose to stem the bleeding.

"G-gah! I am sorry, I am _so_ sorry! I didn't mean to do that-"  
"Oh my. Your nose is bleeding...perhaps you should get that checked with the nurse." Winter frowned, tilting her head.

"Y-you're not mad?"  
"It was only an accident. You did not, surely, enjoy that, yes?" Winter inquired, blinking innocently.

"No! I-I've kept you too long, I think I'll go to the nurse now! Bye!"

With that, Jaune scurried off, holding his nose closed to stem the stream of blood.

* * *

 _Thirty minutes later..._

Jaune sighed, exiting the infirmary with a tissue stuck in his nostril, stained with blood. He'd gotten the bleeding to stop at last, with some help from the nurse.

He lied about where he'd gotten it- he said he'd hit his face with a branch. After all, to tell the truth would be far more embarrassing and incredibly humiliating.

The knight rubbed his temple, groaning.

"I'm so lucky Winter didn't utterly kill me for that..." Jaune sighed in relief. "But really, I have to find a way to get this thing off me...a curse like this, I'm bound to end up being stuck between a ton of lovestruck girls and with no way out of it..."

"Hey."

Jaune froze as Weiss' voice called across to him.

' _Oh Dust no. She's definitely not going to forgive me for this. She's_ definitely _going to murder me.'_

"...y-yes, Weiss?" The knight nervously turned to face the heiress.

Her expression caught him off-guard. Her cheeks were slightly red as she looked down.

"H-hey. Jaune." Weiss sighed. "About earlier-"

"You don't need to...apologise." Weiss closed her eyes, as if the words struggled to come out. "Look...I know. You didn't steal my underwear, and...I overreacted. I shouldn't have let them beat you up.

I will...not pursue you further for that slight. You are, as people like to say, off the hook."

"I...thanks?" Jaune rubbed the back of his head, as Weiss crossed her arms, glaring at him.

"Is that not sufficient reassurance? Are you not satisfied that I admitted I was wrong?"

Jaune waved his hands around, shaking his head. "N-no! It's not that!"

Weiss huffed irritably. "I did tell you I wouldn't let anyone else beat you up for stealing my underwear...no matter how suspicious you would be for it.

I don't know how it got into your bag, but I _will_ find out. And if I find out it _was_ you-"

Jaune swallowed nervously, knowing that Weiss would never find the culprit, not from what he knew Winter found. "G-good to know. I hope you find him!

"...you will help me find him." The heiress declared. "But...I will ensure you aren't pursued for that."

She turned away, crossing her arms and sighing irritably. "Were you injured?"

"No, thankfully." Jaune sighed in relief. "I'm fine. Just a little bruising, really."  
"And your nose?"

"I tripped and hit a branch." The knight explained tersely. He'd practiced the excuse a couple of times, so Pyrrha wouldn't have to worry. He didn't want her to worry about him, after all.

Weiss crossed her arms, huffing irritably. "Well, good. It's good to see you're not badly injured, so...get going then!

Q-quit staring at me! I'm not blushing like one of those women who can't make their mind up!"  
Jaune shook his head, exasperated. "I-I'm not staring at you!"

"Gah. You sound like a complete moron right now. Just...just go back to your dorm before I change my mind..." Weiss pinched the bridge of her nose, growling and walking off.

She muttered something about morons under her breath before heading around the corner. Jaune wiped his brow in relief.

"Thank Dust...I really thought I was roasted there..." The knight felt his breath speed up as he walked off, his sides and nose sore.

"I'm going to go back to my dorm before something else stupid happens or that choice comes back and makes me do something worse..."

...

At long last, the knight made his way back to his dorm, opening the door wearily and slipping in, dumping his bag near his bed and sitting down on it, wiping his brow.

"So, I get cursed by Dust-knows-what, I now look like a complete pervert to the whole class, I met Weiss' sister, and Weiss just promised she wouldn't kill me for it.

I honestly don't even know what to think."

He closed his eyes, rubbing his head and lying down to rest his head.

"I guess I should probably say _I hope it's just a dream_ or something cliche like that. Judging by the way my day's gone, I've probably stumbled into some anime.

Tomorrow, I'm doing research into it. I'm going to figure out what's going on and-"

Suddenly, the dorm's door burst open with a bang, shocking Jaune into standing up and looking at the intruder.

"Heeeellooooooo everyone!" Nora boomed into the room cheerily, stretching her arms. "The Queen is BACK IN THE BUILDING!"

"Hey, Nora." Jaune waved at her tiredly, silently relieved it wasn't someone like Professor Goodwitch hunting him down for the incident earlier. "How was your day?"  
"I got to play with Edgar!" Nora pumped her fist, still yelling as she skipped to his side, giggling to herself. "Isn't life just fun?"

"Yeah. You could say that." The knight closed his eyes. "Hey, Nora, do you mind keeping it down a little?"  
"Huh?"  
"I have a little headache and I'm trying not to make my nosebleed worse here." Jaune explained sheepishly. "...so, ye-"

" _Choose._ "

' _Oh hell no.'_

" _Join in with Nora's madness, yelling and raising chaos like a madman, or try and pick her up, raising her to the ceiling like a ballet dancer."_

Jaune groaned resignedly, as a realisation dawned upon him.

 _This was only the beginning._

* * *

 _And so, our lovely knight ends his first day of living with Absolute Choice. He's dealt with it splendidly, by all accounts. Most others would have been met with a terrible fate, as some like to say it. Perhaps he shall rise well to the challenge!_

 _Or, most likely, he'll collapse and go insane. The possibility of choice is a very interesting one indeed._

 _Now, to our lovely readers, I must too present an Absolute Choice._

 _Your first choice, is to keep reading this repulsively amusing tale._

 _Your second, to keep following this story and reading._

 _Your poison is yours to pick, so to speak, so pick wisely~_

* * *

 **END**

* * *

 **DISCLAIMER: RWBY doesn't belong to me, otherwise Winter would be the exact polar opposite of Weiss (kind-hearted outright, fire powers, tall and very large chested).**

 **NouCome belongs to Takeru Kasukabe.**

 **Well, Winter's in the story now, and this is just the beginning. It won't be all that long- it'll probably be finished within fifty chapters, if we're in luck, but I hope you guys stay for the ride!**

 **So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, criticisms, suggestions, thoughts and reviews, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	3. First Meetings and Sadistic Playboys

" _Choose."_

The choices once more swarmed Jaune's vision as he sighed in disbelief. "Oh come on! Really?!"

" _Do a ballet dance in the middle of the hallway and attempt to flirt with a girl. Alternatively, you may beg like a dog at the knees of a student."_ The voice intoned, clear as day.

Jaune looked about him. The hallway was crowded as usual, with students milling about and checking their bags for timetables and what-not, and the voice had commanded him for the umpteenth time that day to do something incredibly silly.

It had been a whole week since the curse had been laid upon him, one whole week. He'd managed for all of it to keep it hidden from Pyrrha- he didn't want her to worry, and though he knew she was possibly the most understanding woman on Remnant, it wasn't as if she was about to buy the fact that some voice was coming from Dust-knows-where to make him do crazy things.

The only sort of people who said that were either liars or the sort one locked up in straitjackets and put into nice soft rooms filled with white cushions where nice men in white coats stared at you and made notes about your condition for the rest of your natural life.

Of course, Jaune was wondering if he didn't count for the latter as it was.

The familiar pain shot through his head, warning him he hadn't chosen yet. Jaune winced, rubbing his temple, before sighing.

" _Fine, fine. I'll dance..."_ Jaune conceded. _"Just leave me alone already."_

The choices faded away, and the knight inhaled deeply, before balancing on one foot, twirling around as the voice had forced him to, doing a pirouette to a nearby female student and propping her chin up with a finger.

"Hello, dear." Jaune smiled, grinning despite his desperate situation. "So, are you an angel? Because you look like you just fell from-"

The girl screeched and slapped him, sending him spinning and tumbling to the floor. Jaune rubbed his head, the compulsion fading, groaning as she walked away from him.

"Ow...dammit..." Jaune sighed. "Well, at least it's satisfied...for now..."

He wrenched himself up, dusting himself off. As he looked around, he realised that everyone was staring at him again.

Sadly, to Jaune, it wasn't the first time he'd been stared at. The choices he was getting had at least spared him more perverted things like he'd been asked to do to Winter, but it had decided to give him sillier ones- the other day, he'd ended up being forced to act like a butler for Velvet, for one.

It wasn't as unpleasant as sticking his face into Winter's chest, and Velvet had been pleasantly surprised, as he'd tried to make it as pleasant as he could for her- after all, just because he was suffering didn't mean he would let anyone else suffer, too.

Of course, none of that was relevant right now. Jaune closed his eyes and picked up his bag, slinging it on his back.

"I'm sorry, guys. I'll be on my way..." The knight scurried off, running off to his next class.

In his hurry, he ignored the one very confused eye on him, who was studying his motions.

"What is going on with him..." The girl said, rubbing her temples, before realising something. "Wait, wait.

...could he be? The...the signs have been there the last week...but...no, I have to know."

* * *

Jaune ran into the classroom, closing his eyes and heading quickly to his desk. Thankfully, nobody had asked any questions on the way.

The knight settled on the desk, breathing heavily. He lay back on his chair, wiping his forehead.

"Man...it's been a _long_ time since I ran that far to get away from something..."

"I see. You seem tired, Mister Arc."  
"Yeah. I ran pretty fa-" Jaune froze, as he realised who was talking to him. Slowly, he turned around to see Winter Schnee, smiling peacefully at him.

"W-Winter! I...uh...didn't expect you to be here! Hi!"

"Good morning, Mister Arc." The lady greeted him with a small wave. "You ran to class? You must have been very eager to get to class."  
"U-uh...yeah, that's it! I was pretty eager to get to class, that's all! Hehehehe..." The knight rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah, that's all...h-hey, Winter. You're in the year over me, right? What are you doing in my class?"  
"Actually, she's in our year, you dolt." Weiss interjected, crossing her arms. "Winter's older than me by one year, but she missed a year."  
"I was a very ill child, unfortunately." Winter admitted, frowning slightly.

Jaune nodded. "I see. You don't really look too sickly now, though."  
"The years have been very kind to me, fortunately."

"Is this a friend of yours, Jaune?" Pyrrha walked over to join the conversation. "Who might this girl be?"  
"She's my sister, Winter." Weiss introduced her older sister to the spearmaiden. "Winter, meet Pyrrha Nikos, one of the best Huntresses of our year, Pyrrha, meet my sister Winter."  
Winter extended her hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss Nikos. I am familiar with your tournament work."  
Pyrrha received her hand, shaking it firmly. "A pleasure to meet you also, Miss Schnee. I assume you know Jaune?"  
The lady nodded. "Of course. Mister Arc has been very kind to me. He is a good friend to have."  
"A friend...y-yeah, of course!" Pyrrha nodded in agreement. "A friend...yes."

Weiss blinked, tilting her head at the spearmaiden. "...something wrong, Pyrrha?"  
"Nothing at all. I should let you all get to it." Pyrrha laughed briefly. "Yes, of course. I hope we can talk later, Miss Schnee."  
"As do I, Miss Nikos." Winter smiled at her. "Good day."

Pyrrha walked off, looking to Jaune briefly, before continuing to walk to her seat. He got the distinct impression she was disappointed about something.

"So, Miss Nikos is a friend of yours?" Winter inquired, curious. Jaune nodded quickly.

"Of course! She and I are on the same team, team JNPR."

"Huh, I see. She seems like a nice girl."

"She's quite the talent. Jaune's lucky to have her on his team." Weiss pointed out.

The knight rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah, I'm pretty lucky. Pyrrha's a pretty cool teammate. She's a good friend, too, and she doesn't really mess up the dorm too much, like Nora."  
"I pity you for sharing a dorm with Nora." Weiss sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Dust knows all she thinks about are pancakes, sloths and explosions..."

"You should see how many plates I've got to clean after dinner." Jaune admitted exasperatedly. "I'm pretty sure all that girl ever eats are pancakes-"

"Good morning, class!" Professor Oobleck zoomed behind the desk in front, hands behind his back, looking primly at the class.

"We must get started immediately! Time is of the essence! You know where your textbooks are, take them out and flip to page fifty-seven!

Today, we will be studying the ancient battle of the Sanguine Gulch, between the Crimson Kingdom and the Azure Kingdom of Pre-Modern Vytal!"

"Why does _that_ sound familiar..." Jaune mused as he opened up the textbook.

* * *

 _After class..._

Jaune sighed in relief as he got through a day of classes without the voice commanding him to degrade himself. He calmly put his stuff in his bag, zipping it up and putting it on his back as he waved at Professor Oobleck, who calmly presided over the leaving class.

' _Alright...all I have to do is to get back to my dorm and hope that whatever choice I'm going to get isn't too bad...'_ The knight hoped, praying to whatever deities were out there that he wasn't about to get a sadistic choice.

"Jaune?"

Pyrrha tapped him on the shoulder. The knight turned to face the spearmaiden, who looked fairly worried.

"Yes, Pyrrha?"

"You look...stressed." The spearmaiden noted, frowning. "Is everything alright, Jaune? Has Cardin been accosting you again?"  
"W-what?" The knight's eyes widened. "N-no, of course not!"  
"Jaune, it's fine if you tell me. I will make sure he leaves you alone." Pyrrha clenched her fist. "Please, you must tell me if he bullies you."  
"No, Pyrrha, it's fine. Nobody's bullying me!" Jaune admitted. "Please, nobody needs to get involved. I haven't even spoken to Cardin since the whole thing with the Ursa."

Pyrrha deflated, looking away somewhat embarrassedly. "Oh."

The knight smiled. "Still, thanks for looking out for me. I'm fine, really. Just a little tired, is all. I'm sure that when I hibernate for the whole weekend like I'm planning to do, I'll be as right as rain again."

Pyrrha chuckled at that, her fears put at ease. "I see. Alright, Jaune. I will...leave you to your hibernating.

But, Jaune, if you will...would you like to accompany me somewhere?"  
"A-accompany you?!" The knight was taken aback by the sudden request.

' _A-accompany her? W-what does she...n-no way. No, she's not asking me to a date, is she?'_

"Accompany me, yes." The spearmaiden repeated, smiling.

Jaune stepped back slightly. "W-what do you mean accompany you? L-Like a date or something?!"

Pyrrha blushed profusely. Jaune froze, thinking he'd said something offensive, before she started staring at him in shock. "A date? O-of course not, Jaune! I...I mean, we are hardly boyfriend and girlfriend, after all! T-that would be a...s-silly notion!

No, I-I intended...you and I could just, as friends, talk. Over a cup of coffee. It does not even have to be in Vale, we could do it here."

Jaune breathed heavily, relieved that she hadn't been asking him on a date after all.

It was a silly notion, anyway. Pyrrha wasn't in love with him, right? Besides, that would mean she had a one-sided love for him like in those weird anime, and, though Jaune's life seemed like one lately, it wasn't as if that spread to the rest of his life, right?

" _Choose._ "

Jaune stepped back, as the choices filled his vision again, blocking out Pyrrha and the rest of the classroom.

' _No...come on, no!'_

" _Coldly reject her request like a playboy with a harem, or drool over her like a creepy fanboy."_ The voice detailed. Jaune swallowed, considering his choices.

He surveyed the spearmaiden, who was frozen in place, blushing and standing back from him.

' _I...I have to pick the one that won't...I have to pick one. I'm in public, if I drool over her now, then any chance of salvaging what's left of my reputation will be gone and Pyrrha will be even_ more _hurt...'_ Jaune closed his eyes.

' _I'm sorry, Pyrrha, I'll make it up to you later... Give me the first choice.'_

The choices faded away from his sight, and the world began to move around him again.

Pyrrha tilted her head at him. "Jaune? Is everything al-"  
"Hmph." The knight propped her chin up with a finger, sneering at her. "You're pretty good at joking around, you know that, Nikos?

You think for a second that I, Jaune Arc, have time to spend having coffee with you?"

Pyrrha was struck speechless.

"They say I'm the golden boy of Beacon. Hmph." Jaune crossed his arms. "I didn't get that title by putting out to every nobody who asked me out to a coffee. I'm an exclusive boy, and I have standards.

You're just going to have to put up with those if you want to ask _me_ out to a date, dear. Now, if you excuse me, I am going off to have coffee with that Velvet girl from the other class. Tch.

She's probably just as desperate as you."

Jaune then snapped out of the compulsion, blinking with his eyes wide in terror at Pyrrha, who was staring at him, blinking.

"J-Jaune..." The spearmaiden choked out. The knight felt fear spread across his chest, fear that he had hurt Pyrrha.

He'd already hurt her when he'd rejected her once, he didn't want to do it agai-

"Y-you are...that kind of person..." The spearmaiden felt her cheeks redden, rubbing them with her hand. "O-Oh my..."

"What." Jaune stared at her.

' _Is she...is she digging on me because I just went sadistic playboy on her?! W-wait, no, she wouldn't dig on me, right?'_

"...y-you're far more...a-assertive...I..." Pyrrha placed both hands on her cheeks, looking down embarrassedly. "I don't know what I..."  
"H-hey, Pyrrha, listen. I didn't mean that!" Jaune laughed.

Now everyone was looking at him, confused.

"Did he just turn down Pyrrha Nikos?"  
"Oh Dust...wow. Who does he think he is, some kinda playboy?"  
"Dude, you don't just turn down Pyrrha when she asks you out for coffee!"

Jaune stepped back from the malfunctioning spearmaiden, who was muttering to herself.

' _Oh crap. Oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap.'_ Jaune thought frantically. _'I've got to-_ '

Suddenly, he felt a hand grab his arm and drag him off before he could move. Jaune's eyes widened again as he struggled.

"H-hey! Let me go! Hey!"

He was pulled out of the classroom and into a janitor's closet nearby, with his captor shutting the door behind them and locking it tightly.

Jaune twisted around to turn and face them.

"What gives? I wasn't-" He stopped, realising who had dragged him into the closet.

"What did that voice tell you?" Blake Belladonna, resident bookworm- and unbeknownst to anyone except teams JNPR, RWBY and Ozpin, a Faunus- was staring at him in the closet, her golden feline eyes glistening slightly in the darkness of the closet, as she waited for his response.

"...sorry?" Jaune blinked, not entirely comprehending what she had just said.

"I said, what did that voice tell you to do?" Blake repeated sternly.

' _S-she...she knows about the voice?'_ The knight was taken aback, shaking his head as if disbelieving that Blake had said that, before clearing his throat and regaining his composure.

"I...it told me to...um, act like a playboy or drool over Pyrrha's arm..."

The catgirl sighed, closing her eyes and snapping her fingers. "As I thought. So it _was_ true."

"Huh?" The knight stared at her. "Wait, how do you know about the voice? Blake, wha-"  
"Jaune." Blake calmly intoned. "Do you know what the curse of Absolute Choice is?"

Jaune stared at her, stepping back slightly and trying not to stumble over a mop.

"Absolute...Choice? That's what it's called? Absolute Choice?"

* * *

 **To be continued...**

* * *

 **DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise we actually would have a parody of sadistic playboys.**

 **NouCome belongs to Takeru Kasukabe.**

 **A/N: Ooooh, so Blake knows about Absolute Choice, Pyrrha has a thing for sadistic playboys, and we already have our main three girls here. This is going to be interesting.**

 **So, I hope you enjoyed that** , **leave your ideas, comments, suggestions, criticisms, reviews and thoughts, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	4. Revelations and Meetings with God

"A-Absolute...Choice?" Jaune tilted his head. "What the...Blake, how do you know what the voice is?"  
"Absolute Choice." Blake nodded, sighing and staring at him pitifully. "I knew it. I've been doing research into rumours that there was some sort of curse making people just... _do_ things. Perverted things- y'know, the typical anime shenanigans. I thought it was some sort of new Dust thing that the White Fang had made up to mind-control people, until...I realised that none of those antics would help their aims.

I thought it wasn't real until I saw it happen to you."

Jaune scratched his head. "...h-how did you figure it out?"  
"I saw what you did in the hallway earlier." The catgirl explained. "I figured you were under Absolute Choice then, but I needed more proof before I acted.

That outburst with Pyrrha proved to me you have it."  
Jaune collapsed to his knees, looking up at Blake. "Oh, thank Dust, _someone_ knows about it. Please, you have _got_ to help me, Blake! H-how long will this Absolute Choice thing last?!"

"...in theory, it will last the entirety of your life until you die." Blake stated matter-of-factly. The knight blanched in horror.

"W-what?!"

"It does not have a set duration." Blake clarified. "The curse lasts until you die."

"B-but..." Jaune stared at her in horror, pleading her to help him. "This Absolute Choice is driving me _insane_! W-what can I do to get this curse off of me?!"

Blake leaned on a shelf, thinking carefully. "I know I read about the curse somewhere."

Jaune's pleading look simply intensified. The catgirl closed her eyes, trying to concentrate.

"...ugh...I'm not sure if this cure will work. I'm not entirely sure." Blake explained, shaking her head. "But...there are rumours."  
"Rumours?" Jaune raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean rumours? There's a way to get rid of Absolute Choice?!"

Blake sighed. "Look. You tell _nobody_ else I said this, alright? You don't even tell _Ozpin_. Absolute Choice has a way of making you screw anything up; I'm surprised it hasn't made you do something embarrassing like faceplant into my chest or something.

But, a couple of months ago, back when I was investigating the rumours...I ran across one particular forum, where people were discussing them. I saw one guy- I think he called himself 'Amakusa' or something- who talked about Absolute Choice as if he knew what it was.

I tried to figure out more from him, but he never replied. He did hint that there was one way to get rid of the curse.

Supposedly, an angel will come from the God who's supposedly responsible for cursing people with Absolute Choice to help you."

Jaune just gave her a flat stare, disbelieving her.

"So. I'm cursed by some god and I have to wait for an angel that will supposedly come from the skies to help me get rid of the curse."

"Like I said, it was a rumour from some stranger on the Internet. That's all I have." The catgirl admitted. "I'm sorry if that's unsatisfactory."

The knight sighed exasperatedly. "Oh, that's just _great_. I get cursed to do embarrassing things in front of the whole school and the _only_ cure is to hope to whatever deity is out there that they send down an angel to help me.

My life really _is_ turning into an anime."

Blake sighed, putting her hand on his shoulder. "If it does happen to you...you come find me. I'll help you get rid of the curse.

It's pretty rough on you. I can see that."

Jaune closed his eyes, savouring the break and grateful for finally having someone who understood what he was going through, even if they couldn't help him.

"Thanks, Blake. I'll...do that. I'll leave you alone now, alright?"  
"Good luck." The catgirl wished him, opening the closet door for Jaune to walk out. The knight extracted the mop from underneath him, waiting for a moment to see if Absolute Choice would strike once more.

A moment passed. He sighed in relief and walked out of the closet to see a horde of irritated boys and girls surrounding him, pouring out from the classroom.

"You really ARE the worst!"

"Stealing Pyrrha from everyone else like that?! Who the hell do you think you are?!"  
"Get him!"

Jaune closed his eyes to calm himself down, before looking for a way out through the crowd, his eyes darting about to escape.

' _Come on, come on...think...'_ The knight implored himself, trying to find a way out. _'Damn it, the crowd's too thick! I'm not going to be able to..._

 _Oh, hell. I'm going to get the crap beaten out of me again-'_

Suddenly, however, he was saved by the sudden re-appearance of Blake, who took his hand. Blake stared down the people surrounding him, grasping his arm and sliding out of the crowd, leaving a shimmering afterimage of the pair where they stood just moments before.

Blake sighed in relief, now safely behind a corner with the knight. He looked up at her gratefully, breathing heavily.

"T-thanks, Blake..."

The catgirl merely nodded. "Try to stay out of large crowds until you get rid of Absolute Choice. I know it may take a while and that may be a little hard, but try your hardest.

I'll see you later." The girl relinquished him and began heading off for her dorm. Jaune waved to her, watching her run off.

"...see you around, Blake." Jaune called out wearily, before adjusting the bag on his back, exhaling.

"Guess I'd better make it back to my dorm before I have to do a stupid choice..."

Dusting his jacket off with his hand, the knight began trudging back to JNPR dorm, praying to whatever merciful deity that was willing to listen that nobody else ran into him or that whatever this Absolute Choice thing was, it left him alone.

' _Come on, come on...'_ The knight prayed. _'Please, nothing stupid happen,_ please _nothing stupid happen...'_

* * *

 _Minutes later..._

Jaune finally made it back to the dorm, opening the door and slamming it behind him roughly, slumping against the door, exhausted.

Ren looked up from his book, studying Jaune quizzically. "Jaune? You look exhausted."

Jaune laughed nervously at the comment. "You...have absolutely _no_ idea. Hey, has Pyrrha gotten back to the dorm? Did she say anything weird about me?"  
The gunslinger shook his head. "She came back fifteen minutes ago, but she didn't say anything. She _was_ blushing pretty hard, though.

Jaune, did you _do_ something to Pyrrha?"

The knight shook his head hurriedly. "N-no, nothing! She's been weird all day, that's all!"

Ren looked suspiciously at him, blinking briefly. "...alright, I'll take your word for it.

I'm surprised you haven't noticed, though." The gunslinger began drinking from his cup of coffee.

"N-noticed what? You know what, don't answer that question." Jaune sighed, looking down and placing his hands in his pockets, before staring back up at Ren.

"Do me a favour. Tell her I'll meet her up on the roof for training in fifteen-"

"Jaune?" Pyrrha appeared from the dorm's bathroom, her hair hidden in a towel turban and her typical clothing replaced with a loose orange tank top and a navy blue tracksuit.

The knight froze, his expression resembling that of a deer caught in headlights.

"I...uh."

The spearmaiden blushed slightly, looking away nervously and clearly expecting him to burst out like he'd done in the classroom.

"J-Jaune...l-listen. About earlier...i-it's okay. Y-you don't have to go with me and have coffee. I-I was just...offering.

I'm...perfectly f-fine with you going on dates with other girls."

Jaune waved his hands apologetically and frantically. "N-no, it's fine, it's fine! You're fine, Pyrrha! It was a crappy joke."  
"A...joke?" The spearmaiden looked at him, uncomprehending.

"Y-yeah, a joke! It wasn't true! I'm not even looking for a relationship." The knight admitted, laughing nervously.

Pyrrha exhaled, a hint of a frown on her face. "I see. Alright."

" _Choose."_

Jaune froze, as Absolute Choice surrounded him once more with its sadistic choices, the boxes swirling around him once more.

" _Choice one, say 'that means I can have your panties, right?'. Choice two, just turn to underwear on the spot."_

' _T-that's not even a choice!'_ Jaune complained, watching Pyrrha's puzzled expression and Ren's curious one.

' _I...I don't want to say that to Pyrrha, though! I've embarrassed her-'_

A bolt of pain shot through Jaune's head, causing him to almost go onto his knees.

" _Choose."_

' _...gggh...I don't want to hurt Pyrrha, but...I don't want to turn into underwear. I don't believe for a second this thing can turn me into a pair of underwear, but...I don't want to test it._

 _Choice one. I don't know how many times I've said this, but I'm sorry, Pyrrha.'_

The boxes faded, and Jaune was met with Pyrrha's concerned look.

"...Jaune?"

"...ggh...I-I...apologise in advance..." The knight muttered out through clenched teeth, before staring at Pyrrha with the most seductive look he could muster.

"But, Pyrrha dear. This _still_ means I can have your panties, right?"

Ren nearly spat out the coffee in his mouth, staring at Jaune in shock. Pyrrha was frozen in place for a moment, before stepping back from Jaune, blinking once, her mouth agape in surprise.

"I...what..." The spearmaiden's cheeks went nearly as red as her hair. "My...panties?"

Jaune swallowed and exhaled before turning around and running for dear life.

' _Imsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorry...'_

* * *

Jaune fled to the roof, shutting the door behind him and sitting against it. He closed his eyes, resting his head against the tough wooden door.

"Dammit, I've done it now." The knight realised, shaking his head. "I've made myself look like an indecent pervert to her.

I'll have to change teams. My dorm's no longer safe. Maybe Winter will let me stay with her team, although who knows how long it is before I start offering her panties smelling of melon or something, Dust knows..."

Jaune sighed, rubbing the back of his neck.

Whoever had come up with the idea that Hell was fire, brimstone and flaming skeletal Grimm was entirely and wholly wrong.

Absolute Choice was Hell.

"I can only hope whatever Blake was saying was-" Jaune, of course, was interrupted by the voice again.

" _Choose."_

' _No, no, NO! Come on! I'm not even doing anything this time!'_ The knight cried, staring up at the sky.

In the skies, the faint wisps of cloud that had gathered had morphed themselves into letters and words, staring down at Jaune for him to choose.

" _Your first choice is to have a madwoman fly-kick you in the groin._ " The voice dictated.

' _What kind of choice is that!?'_

" _Your second choice is to have Yang Xiao Long fly-punch you in the groin at full strength."_

' _Oh gods no. That wouldn't just...end the Arc line...'_ The knight shuddered, imagining the damage being punched _anywhere_ by the physically strongest student in the year would do to him. _'...that would...dammit, I don't want my epitaph to be 'killed by being punched in the crotch by shotgun gauntlet'!_

 _Choice one! I hope I survive this...'_

The clouds dispersed. Jaune closed his eyes and braced himself, cupping his hands over his groin to protect himself.

"COMING THROUGH!"

Jaune froze in horror.

' _Oh_ _ **no**_.'

An explosion sounded in the distance, and Nora Valkyrie soared at him, her leg extended in a kicking position.

"WHOA WATCH OUT QUEEN OF THE CASTLE COMING THROUGH"

"AH!"

Nora's foot landed right on target.

Jaune smashed his back into the door he was leaning on, cracking it slightly, though his Aura cushioned the blow. He screeched in a high-pitched voice, his hands having not saved him any from the pain.

The berserker pulled herself up, shaking her head.

"Huh...that was kinda bumpy..." Nora rubbed her head, looking down at Jaune. "Oh, hey!"

"...h-hi..." Jaune squeaked out. "...w-what happened to you..."  
"I was doing perfectly normal Valkyrie cooking time!" Nora declared proudly. "My ingredients kinda got out of hand.

Why have you got your hands cupped onto your crotch?"  
"...n-nothing...owwww..." The knight grunted, trying to pull himself up. Thankfully, his Aura had cushioned that blow, too, but he was probably going to have to walk with his legs wide for the rest of the night.

Nora gasped in realization. "Waaaaait! What if my exploding sloth pancakes sent me to you to...aaaaahhhh, so you _must_ be the person I'm supposed to help!"

"What?" Jaune stared at her blankly.

"For years, the Valkyrie family has helped out the poor little sloths with the curse of Absolute Choice!" The berserker declared. "Noraicus Valkyrie was the first such helper, and I, with the powers vested in me from the halls of Valhalla themselves, will now aid you with my presence!

I guess it's _your_ turn to be served by moi! I'm actually an angel sent from heaven to help you with your curse!"

Jaune stared at her blankly.

"You...you're not serious, right? You're just saying that. You're just like Blake, and you looked up-"  
"Oh, the voice goes "Choose" and you have to do silly stuff, right, and you get headaches if you don't, right?" Nora wagged her finger knowingly. "I know _alllll_ about that! I'm not lying, I know about Absolute Choice! And I will do my best to help you myself!

I'm the Queen of the Castle, after all, and a Queen looks after her subjects!"

' _Oh Dust, she's serious.'_ Jaune blanched. _'Please, whatever deity is up there, give me anyone else._

 _ANYONE else.'_

" _Alright."_ The voice responded obligingly. _"Choose._

 _You may have Nora help you remove Absolute Choice, or you may have a mass murderer help you."_

' _...a mass murderer? T-that's not even...'_ Jaune closed his eyes, exasperated. _'...I pick Nora.'_

"Fine, Nora. I believe you." The knight acquiesced. "Just...please, help me remove this curse."

Nora saluted proudly. "Aye aye, Cleopatra!

But first..." She held up her finger, sniffing Jaune. The knight blinked rapidly, staring at her.

"What are you-"  
"You smell of maple syrup." Nora stared at him suspiciously. "Have you been to Pancake Land without me, Jaune?

I will find out!"

"...no, I was shoved into a closet for half an hour. I didn't even leave the school." The knight stated. "Look, Nora, what are we waiting for?"  
"A sign!" The berserker explained. "A sign...from God."

"God?" Jaune blinked, before his phone started ringing in his pocket.

The vibrations were unnaturally strong, causing his hips to gyrate- which was of course, painful due to the aforementioned being-kicked-in-the-groin-by-a-rocket-propelled-Nora incident.

Wincing, Jaune whipped out his phone, staring at it.

"Who would be calling me at this ungodly hou-" He froze as he finally saw what was on screen.

The number was hidden, from what he could see, but the knight didn't concentrate on that.

He concentrated on the caller's name, "God".

' _...so...this is the guy who did this...to me.'_ Jaune swallowed nervously. _'...do I answer?_

 _No...no, I have to answer. I have to know who did this to me.'_

Nora looked expectantly at him, waiting for him to pick up the phone. The knight reluctantly plucked the phone from his pocket.

"...hello? Who is this?" Jaune inquired, waiting with bated breath for the response.

* * *

 **To be continued...**

* * *

 **DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise Nora would travel everywhere by explosive pancake cannons.**

 **NouCome belongs to Takeru Kasukabe.**

 **A/N: So, Nora's his helper, Blake's willing to help, Jaune's embarrassed and he's about to meet God. Well, we know what this chapter'll be called.**

 **So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, criticisms, suggestions, thoughts and reviews, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	5. The Flippant God

"...hello? Who is this?" Jaune inquired, waiting with bated breath for the response. He looked up at Nora.

"Is this...God? It's God calling me, right?"  
The berserker nodded happily, giving him a thumbs-up. "Yep. He's God."

"Yo. God speaking." The person on the other side of the phone spoke finally, with a mischievous, almost flippant tone in his light voice. "You may call me 'Milord, 'Kami-sama' or just 'God'. Not to be confused with, well, the _true_ god of this world, rest in peace he may...

So, on a more positive note, how may I help you today?"

' _Is this really...God? He sounds more like Yang...'_ Jaune mused exasperatedly.  
"Hello? Jaune Arc?" 'God' inquired again. "You _are_ Jaune Arc, right?"

' _...well, he knows my name. Either I have a stalker with voodoo magic or he really_ _ **is**_ _God...'_

"Alright, so you're the God behind Absolute Choice, right?" The knight inquired.

The caller chuckled. "Ah, so you know me already. How's the curse, eh?"  
Jaune resisted the urge to snap angrily at the caller and sighed. "Enough talk and let's get down to business. How can I get this curse off of me?"

"That's...hardly a respectful way to treat 'God', my boy." God retorted. "Are you sure you believe I'm the big-'G' God?"  
 _'Gah, he's so...flippant. And irritating!'_ Jaune clenched his fist. _'...I have to tolerate it. He won't let this curse off of me otherwise...'_

"Of course I believe you." Jaune hissed out from clenched teeth. "You're Kami-sama or whatever."

The caller tutted in a disapproving manner. "That's hardly the way to treat God. Now, I have to punish you."

' _Punish me?'_

"I _could_ turn you into a girl, right there, on the spot, and leave you as Jeanne Arc. But, as I'd prefer not to copy my predecessor's spin on things, I'll just show you _another_ way." God started chuckling, before Jaune started to hear a loud buzzing in his ears.

He almost dropped his phone as he cupped his hand and phone over his ears, closing his eyes to try to block out the sound.

' _Ggh...what is this god doing to me?'_ Jaune wondered, before he looked up .

The world seemed to be exactly the same, without Nora standing before him as she was mere moments ago, before-

' _Oh. Oh_ _ **Dust**_ _.'_

The moon was replaced by a giant version of Nora's head, flashing a manic grin down upon the world.

The buildings of Vale in the distance were topped with either giant visages of the berserker's head, and the students still milling around in the campus below were wearing giant bobbleheads in the form of Nora's head. All Jaune could hear from below was chanting in some sort of ungodly chattering- probably a sloth crossed with some eldritch beast from beyond mortal comprehension.

Only one word was decipherable from the chanting.

 _Pancake. Pancake. Pancake. PANCAKE. PANCAKE._ _ **PANCAKE**_

" _Choose."_ Absolute Choice rang in his ears again, causing Jaune to sit up in terror.

" _Stay in this demented world for the rest of eternity, or grovel and apologise to the flippant God."_ The voice stated calmly.

' _That's not even...grah, I hate this.'_ Jaune swallowed, closing his eyes. _'One day...'_

"Look, I'm sorry, o-Lord-God-Kami-Sama...please, forgive this fool for questioning you...Jaune pleaded to the phone. "Now...GET ME OUT OF HERE, PLEASE!"

"Alright, loyal subject of mine, you get to leave. This world's pretty fun, though, I can't see why you wouldn't like it. It's _top_ over there, it is..." The God started giggling, before Jaune felt the buzzing force him to his knees again, trying to block out the noise.

' _GGGGHHHAAAAAA-'_

"Jaune?" Nora's voice told Jaune he was back in his reality. He sighed in relief, looking back up at the berserker, who was tilting her head at him concernedly.

"What were you doing just now? Were you doing a sloth mating ritual?"

"...what?" Jaune tried to process what she was saying, before putting his phone up against his ear again.

"Alright, alright, you've proven your point." The knight seethed angrily. "Alright, I'm sorry.

How do I get this curse off of me?"

"Eh...the rule book tells me you've got to finish a couple of missions." The God explained slowly. "You finish your missions, you get to go free."

"And...what if I don't?"  
"Oh." The caller chuckled. "Then you get cursed for the rest of your natural life, you'll have no friends and you'll die alone because everyone thinks you're a complete weirdo."

Jaune blanched in terror at the idea of having to live with the curse of Absolute Choice _forever._

' _...I was...I don't...this curse...I'd have to be a hermit. And I bet it'd_ _ **still**_ _find a way to screw me over...'_

"...w-what are these missions? When would I get them?" Jaune inquired hurriedly.

The rustling of pages could be heard over the phone. "Erm...I dunno. It doesn't say in my rulebook."  
"Your _rulebook_?" Jaune sounded shocked. "You mean you don't know the rules of your _own_ curse?!"

"I kinda inherited the position. They didn't tell me anything about it when I got it, mate.

But, you should get notifications every so often. Just try not to fail them and you _should_ be fine. Mostly."  
"Can't you just remove the curse? You're God, right? You have that kind of power, don't you?"

"Could, but loophole abuse and all that, and it's more fun like this~" The caller chuckled. "Now, if you excuse me, I'm pretty busy today. Cheerio!"

The line went dead. Jaune closed his eyes resignedly.

"Good Dust, the only two people on this earth who can help me get rid of the curse, and one barely knows anything about it and the other's Nora Valkyrie, and the god of this world is a flippant douche." The knight muttered irritably.

"I think I must've seriously angered this god or something..."

Nora shrugged. "Sooooo, are you ready to start getting rid of your curse? Are you ready to submit to your all-loving Queen and listen to my advice?"  
"...you know what, I've had too much crap today." The knight admitted, picking himself up roughly off the ground. "I just want to go to bed and curl up in a tiny ball."  
"Alright!" Nora put her hands on her hips. "We will begin your training for the removal of Absolute Choice tomorrow morning!

YOU ARE DISMISSED, SOLDIER!"

Jaune closed his eyes and roughly put his bag back on, before turning around and wearily opening down, heading down the stairs to the main corridor.

And then he ran into Pyrrha.

The spearmaiden was staring at him weirdly, stepping back from him.

"O-oh. Jaune..." Pyrrha looked embarrassedly away from him. "H-hello. You look...tired. A-are we training tonight? Or..."

Jaune closed his eyes, exhaling deeply. "Pyrrha...look, if I say anything weird, just ignore me alright? I'm sorry about earlier.

But...you're right. I'm going to turn in early today." The knight waved at her weakly, before trudging back to JNPR dorm.

' _I'm praying that these missions aren't too long. Please...Please make them over soon...'_ Jaune prayed desperately.

* * *

 _The next day..._

 _BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG_

Jaune woke with a start, looking up and around himself. The knight rubbed his eyes blearily, looking around in the darkened dorm to see where the loud clanging and banging was coming from.

' _Good Dust, why aren't Pyrrha and Ren getting up...this is as loud as hell...'_ He complained, rubbing the back of his head. _'...come on...'_

"WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP"

Jaune's head suddenly whipped towards the doorway to the dorm to see Nora, dressed in an unholy combination of a bikini and a sloth mascot's head, banging a knife and a frying pan together.

"JAUNE GET UP IT'S TIME FOR YOUR TRAINING"

The knight groaned, picking up the alarm clock on his night stand and looking at it.

"...it's _three in the morning, Nora_." Jaune reprimanded Nora with a harsh whisper. "This is absolutely _ridiculous_! Do you need to do this training thing _now_?!"

"Of course! If you want to lose Absolute Choice, then you have to be _ready_! You must be vigilant!" The berserker declared forcefully, clanging her frying pan and knife together. "You must be vigilant for every single possible mission you could possibly _get_!"

"Come _on..._ " The knight groaned, slowly climbing out of bed. "...ugh...is this revenge for all the times I told you not to eat pancakes in the dorms?"

Nora shrugged, still grinning. "Of course not! Besides, Absolute Choice is doing all the cursing for me!

Now, chop chop! The Queen's word is _law!_ "

...

"Hey, where're you taking me?" Jaune inquired tiredly as Nora dragged him through the corridors happily.

"You're going to study how to get rid of Absolute Choice through missions, so we're going to the library to teach you how to do it!"  
"Did you have to do it before I changed out of my onesie?!"

"Time's precious, Jaune! As the wise Sloth God always said, a stitch in time saves nine!"  
"I don't understand what that has to do with anything!" The knight cried before Nora whirled around a corner, whipping him into a corner.

"OW!" The knight cried out, rubbing his face. "Damn it..."

"Here we are!" Nora declared, and Jaune looked to see where he'd been dragged.

They were standing in front of the library doors, and Nora was looking around to ensure there were no teachers around to interrupt them nor pesky librarians. When she was confident she would not be interrupted, the berserker gently pushed the doors open.

Within, the library was obviously abandoned, with rows upon rows of tables and chairs lit only by the small library lamps on the desk and the dim bulbs on the ceiling. The large hall was completely silent. Nora clapped appreciatively.

"Ahhhh. Perfect! This is the best learning environment you can possibly have!"

"I can barely see a thing..." Jaune muttered. Nora yanked him over to a table, sitting him down forcibly on a chair.

"Now what?"  
"Now, you must read this excellent guide to everything you could possibly do!" The berserker suddenly pulled out what looked to be a massive stack of books and lowered them roughly upon the desk. The knight studied the stack, staring at it.

"What the..."  
"These are some of the books that my hallowed ancestors used to help the cursed people get rid of their curse!" Nora explained. "Read some of them!"  
Jaune plucked one out carefully, yawning as he did so. "...Ten ways to...TEN WAYS TO STEAL PANTIES?!"

Nora shrugged. "You never know."

"Forget having to _do_ this! Who _writes_ this stuff?!" The knight cried in exasperation. "No, seriously, WHO?!"  
"REGARDLESS! THE QUEEN OF THE CASTLE DEMANDS YOU STUDY HARD AND WELL AND EAT YOUR VEGETABLES!" Nora declared happily. "Speaking of vegetables..."

She whipped out a bowl of the foulest-smelling stew Jaune had ever had the misfortune to be within throwing distance of. For one, the colour was...not one he was sure humans were supposed to ever perceive, and the stench was indescribable, as one might charitably put it. Several black lumps floated to the iridescent surface of the stew, taunting him with the prospect of actually having to eat it.

Jaune moved his chair back, horrified. "W-what's THAT supposed to be?!"  
"The Valkyrie family recipe for educational vegetable breakfast porridge!" The berserker explained. "Eat up!"

"...I don't think I...I don't think that's safe for my health, or whatever's left of it after all this..." The knight muttered. His face was green from simply _looking_ at the abomination of a stew.

Nora suddenly whipped up a spoon. "Come on, Jaune! You have to study hard and eat your veggies, and then maybe the evil voice will stop making you steal people's panties!"  
Jaune looked hopefully over to a computer terminal, hoping that enough time had elapsed that the librarian would have opened up the library and evicted them.

It was three-fifteen AM. The librarian would not arrive for four hours yet. Jaune groaned.

' _...the curse makes me steal panties and the cure is trying to_ _ **poison**_ _me..._ ' The knight closed his eyes.

He took the offered spoon.

* * *

"Mister Arc? Is everything alright?" Winter inquired, looking at the knight on the desk next to hers. Jaune was currently face down on his desk, with an indescribable stench on his jacket and a horrified, troubled stare in his eyes.

"...just fine...Winter." Jaune moaned. "I just had an early morning and a bad breakfast...no need to worry about me."

The lady frowned. "Are you entirely sure? You appear in need of an infirmary."  
"No, Winter, I'm fine. Really." The knight nearly slipped back into unconsciousness, if not for the voice striking again.

" _Choose."_

' _You have GOT to be kidding me.'_

" _Choice one: I'd be fine if you would just go out with me to a love hotel. Choice two: I'm sure that dressing like a sexy French maid and serving me breakfast might cure the problem."_

Jaune's expression simply changed to one of sheer resigned exasperation. "Gggh..."  
"Mister Arc?" Winter tilted her head. "You look as if someone just told you to walk into a minefield."

"...I'm really sorry about this." The knight closed his eyes, before looking up at Winter with sparkling eyes and a suave smile.

"You know, Winter. I'd be pretty happy if you came with me to a love hotel. Right now. Just us two." Jaune suggested happily. Winter stepped back.

"Eh? A...love hotel?" The lady blinked. "...I...do not believe I have ever heard of such a thing."

Jaune sighed in relief. _'Okay, good, she didn't know what that was. I'm-'_

"Jaune."

He felt his blood run cold as he looked around to see Dove Bronzewing and Sky Lark staring down at him, crossing their arms.

"Just what the hell do you think you're doing with this delightful lady here?" Dove inquired smugly, glaring down at him. "Don't you know your limits, Arc?"

"Yeah. It's our job to defend her from perverts. Don't you know?" Sky sneered. "You and I are going to have to have a talk outside."  
Winter stood up, drawing herself to her full height, looking Dove straight in the face.

"Mister Bronzewing, I would advise you leave this matter to me." The lady uttered calmly. "This is after all between myself and Mister Arc."  
"Hey, hey, don't get all hasty! I'm just making sure this pervert wasn't going to do something perverted to you!" Dove laughed. "Come on, you know the rumours, after all, what with him stealing your sister's panties..."

"That was disproven." Weiss joined her sister, crossing her arms and glaring at Dove. "And don't interject yourself in someone else's business, _Bronzewing._ "  
The taller boy stepped back. "Hey, what are you doing? I'm defending your sister here. Quit defending this filthy perv-"  
"I'll be the one who decides if Arc's a pervert or not. Now leave him alone."

Sky stood up with his friend, glaring at her. "Hey, lady. You should butt out of our business. This is between us and Mister Steals-Panties here-"  
"That will be _all_ , Mister Lark." Winter uttered, in a commanding tone. Dove and Sky both trembled, taking a step back from her.

"W-what...but we were-"  
The lady's tone immediately switched to polite and sweet. "Mister Arc was simply making a joke without perverted intent. Please, excuse him."

Dove seethed, looking down at Jaune.

"...you're lucky you got away with this, you perv. Ugh." He stormed off, muttering under his breath. Sky followed him, shooting Jaune one last glare before disappearing out of class.

The knight sighed in relief, smiling at the two sisters. "Thanks for the back-up..."

"I was only doing what I judged to be right." Winter stated matter-of-factly, before returning the smile. "It was simply a joke, was it not?"

Weiss, meanwhile, folded her arms. "Hmph. D-don't get yourself into trouble again." The heiress snapped. "It's too early for you to be getting into fights, and I'm not going to be here to save you every time.

Fix your reputation."  
Jaune sighed, shutting his eyes. "Nice to know you have faith in me, Weiss.", he remarked drily.

" _Choose."_

Jaune blanched. _'Are you kidding?! Seriously?!'_

The choice boxes swirled around him for the umpteenth time that day.

" _Choice one, say "I guess that makes you both my haremettes, so get in your uniforms and start serving me like your master." Alternatively, get a nosebleed and start saying perverted creepy things to both of them."_

' _...and just when I thought I got away with it...'_ The knight sighed resignedly. _'Choice one. Choice two...I really don't want to say any of this to Winter or Weiss...bit...I have to._

 _Choice one.'_

The boxes faded away, as both Schnee sisters stared at him.

"Jaune?"

"Mister Arc?"

"So..." The knight put on the most smug smirk he could muster. "...I guess this means you two are totally into me, right? Well, chop chop, the Harem King needs his dinner done."

Winter tilted her head. "Is this...another joke of yours?"

Weiss closed her eyes and seethed silently for three seconds, before slapping Jaune full on the face, growling. The knight was sent onto the table, wincing at the sting.

"Tsk...you pervert! I should've just let them beat the stuffing out of you, you moron...i-idiot..." Weiss stormed off angrily.

Winter looked after her, frowning at Jaune.

"I...apologise about my sister. She can be hot-tempered."  
"No...I figured." Jaune held a hand up, dismissing her. "Just let me sleep off this slap..."

"I will...speak to you later then, Mister Arc." Winter nodded, smiling at him briefly before she walked off.

When she was out of earshot, the knight loudly groaned.

"Oh, thank _Dust_ Pyrrha's not in this class..."

Suddenly, however, he felt his phone vibrate violently, shaking the table and his sore hips. He winced as he wrenched his phone out of his jean pocket, looking at what he had just received.

"Ggh...a text message from...God?" Jaune blinked, staring at the screen to ensure he'd gotten it right.

"A text message...alright...subject...Curse Elimination?"

The knight felt his spirits raise for the first time in a long while. "...Curse Elimination Mission. Alright."

He scrolled down to read the message content.

"My mission...cook Winter the best meal she has ever had. I have to do it by the weekend..." Jaune read out, shaking his head.

"Cook Winter a meal? And I have...one day to do it. I barely know how to cook!

Seriously?!"

Jaune felt himself start to sweat at the sheer impossibility of the task.

To cook for his sisters was one thing, and Jaune was a decent enough chef, by any man's standards. However, Winter, as a Schnee, probably had meals served to her by the finest gourmet chefs in all the four kingdoms on a regular basis.

' _...of course, the first mission has me trying to beat out a freaking_ _ **gourmet chef**_ _for cooking.'_ Jaune sighed in exasperation.

' _Very well. One day to find something for Winter to eat. At least I'll get to do it as an apology for all the weird stuff I've said to her._

 _But what would I cook for the girl who probably has had the literal gold standard of food made for her ever since she was a child?!'_

* * *

 **To be continued...**

* * *

 **BONUS OMAKE:**

 _Choice Two: Stay in this demented world for all eternity._

It has been five years since I first entered this demented world, dominated solely by the visage of Nora, to the extent that even the moon herself has become Nora's giant face looking upon the world.

Her and her cult of Pancake Slothists have over-ridden the world with her philosophies and her gluttony. I alone stand against her tyranny, and have tried to build up a group of like-minded fellows, who will one day return order and freedom from her batter-based cakes to the planet.

There are distributed pockets of struggle, far and wide between. I know that much. Without unity, they will soon give in and succumb to her cult. They will soon succumb to the tide of maple syrup and pancakes that her Slothist cult will bring. But I will never surrender.

I pick up the radio for the umpteenth time that day, hoping for an answer this time.

"My name is Jaune Arc." I intone into the communicator, adjusting the eyepatch on what was once my left eye. "If you're listening to this...

You are the Resistance."

* * *

 **DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise Weiss would be much more adorable (tinier, for one, and more tsuntsun).**

 **NouCome belongs to Takeru Kasukabe.**

 **A/N: I decided that I would test this little thing out. For those of you not familiar with NouCome, after every episode, some of the more ridiculous choices (being turned into a girl, turning into underwear, etc) would be featured, with the consequences of each choice, often comical. I decided to do a little of that myself because why not?**

 **On a different note, Jaune now has his first mission, to out-cook gourmet chefs and cook for good old Winter! How WILL he cope with that, with Nora who is CLEARLY an expert cook? Who knows?**

 **So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, criticisms, suggestions, thoughts, reviews and comments, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	6. The First Mission

"Cook Winter a nice meal..." Jaune repeated, reading the Curse Elimination Mission he'd received.

It was just after class. Jaune had thanked whatever merciful deities that still existed up there for the lack of Absolute Choices he had to make during class, but now he had decisions to make. The weekend was in seven hours, and Jaune had to complete the mission or risk being cursed forever.

He sighed, putting his head in his hands. "Oh, what am I supposed to _do_ here..."  
Nora walked past, bobbing her head happily and carrying a pile of pancakes. She looked over curiously at Jaune, tilting her head.

"Huh? What's that you're looking at?"  
"I've...got my first mission." The knight explained. "I have to make Winter a nice meal before tomorrow or my goose is cooked."

"A nice meal? Maybe you can make her pancakes!" Nora gasped happily. Jaune sighed.

"You're hopeless."  
"Pancakes are the _best_ meal! They should be the _only_ meal any person needs!"

"Some might disagree." The knight retorted. "But, anyway, think you can help me with this?"

Nora gasped in shock. "H-how could you say that? P-Pancakes are a meal from the Great Sloth himself! T-to deny it is _blasphemy_ of the highest order!

Y-you monster..."

" _Nora_." Jaune irritably intoned. "Do you mind? I'm kinda trying to get rid of a curse here!"

"Is everything alright here?" Winter looked at them, tilting her head curiously. Jaune nearly fell out of his chair to bob himself back, looking to the pouting Nora irritably, before rubbing the back of his head.

"Ahahaha, no, everything's alright! Nothing going on here."  
"I did overhear my name." The lady pointed out.

' _Crap, I just realised...I have to ask her out first. Dammit! I'm going to look like a total...no, I've got to do it. I have to._

 _But how to ask her politely? ...I've got it!'_

"That's right!" The knight snapped his fingers. "Uh, I was about to ask...i-if there's anything you'd like me to cook for you! That's it!"

"Huh?" Winter looked at him curiously, as if she hadn't understood what he had just said.. "You would like to...cook for me?"  
"Yeah! I mean, you've kinda put up with my weird outbursts, and I'd like to make it up to you!" Jaune explained, rubbing the back of his head to look as casual as possible. "And I am a pretty good cook, or so my sisters tell me."

Winter smiled warmly at him. "I would be honoured, Mister Arc, but...are you sure doing so would not inconvenience you? I am sure you have _far_ better things to do than busy yourself with me."  
"Oh, no, no, I'm happy to do this! I owe you one, anyway." Jaune smiled right back. "Besides, you kinda saved me a beating there and-"

" _Choose."_

' _Oh, come_ _ **ON!**_ _'_

The familiar choices swirled around the knight, taunting him with the inevitable consequences of choosing either.

" _You may finish your sentence by deliberately hitting on Winter with the most sleazy line you can muster. Alternatively, you can finish your sentence by proposing that you two head to a love hotel in place of having homemade food."_

' _...alright, alright...which choice is less likely to get me killed by Weiss?'_ Jaune thought carefully. _'Come on, come on...alright, choice two. I'm not going to hit on Winter, I don't care._

 _I owe her that much for putting up with me.'_

The choice boxes vanished, and Jaune cleared his throat, readying himself to speak.

"...o-or, you know, I mean...a _love hotel_ would be a good idea. It'd be far cheaper than me cooking."  
Winter frowned. "A love hotel? I am not familiar with such an establishment. Is it a type of restaurant?"

Jaune merely stared at her in disbelief. _'Good Dust, this girl's a_ _ **saint**_ _!'_

"...I was kidding." The knight quickly recovered. "Haha. I'm a terrible comedian, sadly. This is why I'm trying to practice my jokes! Hehehe...heh...

...I'm just going to go now. Just be at the dorm at seven, alright?"

With that, the knight made a hasty exit, followed closely by Nora.

"Sorry, he just makes crap jokes like that! Byeeeee!" The berserker followed Jaune closely with her pile of pancakes, still piling them into her mouth hungrily.

Winter put a finger to her mouth curiously, watching the two flee the scene. She frowned slightly.

"...Mister Arc can be weird sometimes." She mused, before giggling. "...I find it rather charming."  
"I find it moronic." Weiss muttered, crossing her arms next to Winter. "H-how can you find h-him so charming?"  
"He simply has a sort of...gentlemanly charm around him. " The lady noted. "Do not worry yourself, sister, I do not have any interest in dating Mister Arc, so you do not have to protect him from me."  
The heiress glared at her sister, blushing. "W-why would _I_ want to date Jaune? He's a _dunce_! And have you seen what he's done for the last couple of days?!

I mean...he looks...attractive enough b-but no! Do not even IMPLY I like him! I'm just concerned that associating with him may result in-"  
"Weiss, you should know Mister Arc better than that. He is _nothing_ like _him_." Winter stated calmly but firmly. "He is far too kind."

"...fine." Weiss sighed. "I went...too far. I'm...sorry.

But...he's still Jaune. There's no way I'd like him like that!"

* * *

 _In JNPR dorm..._

Jaune was sitting on his bed, looking over at Nora curiously, who was rooting in her cabinet for something. He had his hands clasped together, waiting for Nora to find whatever it was she was looking for.

The knight looked around to room to pass time, before looking over at Nora.

"So...uh...how many other people did you help with, um, this curse?"  
"Oh, you're my first!" Nora admitted, laughing. "I-I mean, not first as in _that_ first- I mean, that'd be pretty weird, right?- but you're the first person I've had to help out with the curse!"

' _Oh, so she's inexperienced. I'm doomed.'_

"Wait, but how did you know to do all that stuff you did?"  
"My family taught me how to do it! Like I said, stemming from the great patriarch of our family, Noraicus Valkyrie, we've helped people with the curse for generations!

You might say...that this curse-helping has been in our family for...GENERATIONS!"

Jaune groaned. "What are you even looking for, putting aside the reference?"

The berserker raised a finger, before picking up a massive book, strolling over and plopping it into Jaune's lap. The boy winced, looking down at it.

"Ten ways...to...satisfy a girl with fine tastes." Jaune rubbed his chin. "This isn't the first time someone's had to do this?"  
"Nope!"

The knight sighed, opening the book up to read it.

"Tip One...go to a cooking school and learn how to cook. Gee, that's helpful." The knight narrowed his eyes. "I have four hours to find Winter something to eat and that's what I get. Thanks.

Tip Two, buy a gourmet meal off someone and lie about it. No way, I'm not lying to Winter! I mean, I can't outright tell her about the curse...but I don't want to _lie_ to her!"  
Nora chuckled, smirking mischievously. "Oh, you're so _noble_ ~"  
"Hey, my standards are getting murdered to hell and back with this Absolute Choice thing, I'm trying my best to keep them up!" The knight retorted. "Ugh...Tip Three is 'cook a terrible stew and say it's gourmet Vacuan cuisine'?

I don't even...what? What kind of advice is this?! Screw this book!" Jaune discarded it, sending it skittering across his bed where it landed on one of his pillows. "Gah, you know what...I'll make her some puttanesca or something."  
"You know how to make pasta?" Nora tilted her head curiously.

"I had seven sisters to cook for. I'm not exactly inexperienced. I had to learn how to feed my sisters." The knight admitted. "Well, if we're going to make puttanesca, I'm going to head out to a grocery store or something.

Come, let's go." He stood up, grabbing a discarded jacket from a nearby chair and slinging it on. "I think I should still have money enough to buy a little ingredients."  
"Oooooh!" Nora cheered, jumping in the air for joy. "Adventure!"

"Try not to get distracted by the pancakes..." Jaune sighed as he emptied his school bag of his equipment, placing them carefully on the dorm's desk, before slinging onto his back, picking up his keycard for the dorm while he was at it.

As he was walking out, Pyrrha opened the door, looking to Jaune.

"Jaune?" The spearmaiden tilted her head. "Where are you going?"  
"I'm going to buy some groceries from Vale. I'll just be an hour, hour thirty at most." Jaune explained. "Don't worry, I'll be back.

By the way, you don't mind if Winter heads in for a little dinner, alright?"

"...Miss Schnee?" Pyrrha inquired uncertainly.

"Yes."  
"...I was...hoping we could have that coffee...tonight, but if you've already made plans..."

' _Crap, I forgot! Uh...I don't want to stiff Pyrrha...but I've got to do this for the mission! Damn it! I'll just have to can-'_

" _Choose. You may either promise Pyrrha that you will get up at six in the morning to have coffee with her at the academy's cafe. Alternatively, you may simply turn into a pot of coffee yourself."_

' _Damn it.'_ The knight sighed. "Or...you know. I mean...early morning coffee sounds nice? I think the cafe opens at six."  
Pyrrha smiled a little. "...I would like that, actually. Yes, that sounds like a good idea. We could talk.

Well...I shouldn't keep you. You, after all, have to buy groceries and...you have...Miss Schnee to think about. See you later, Jaune." The spearmaiden moved respectfully aside to allow him to pass.

The knight sighed, giving her an apologetic look. "I'm _really_ sorry about the coffee, I genuinely forgot. I'll, uh, see you later, okay?"

"See you later, Jaune." Pyrrha waved at him. The knight smiled at her and ran off, with Nora in tow.

"You want anything from the store?"  
"...not in particular. Listen, I'm going to head to the training room and I may not be back until ten.

Give Miss Schnee my regards." The spearmaiden headed off before Nora could interject.

"Hey, wait! Pyrrha...hum. Alright! Back to adventuring!" The berserker shrugged, grinning as she skipped away.

"I'm going to need more pancakes. Yes, more pancakes. Renny's being mean and hiding all of them, so I need as many as I can to keep myself big and strong!"

* * *

 _Ten minutes later..._

Jaune strolled into the nearest grocery store. It was a convenience store on the long mountain road between the Beacon campus and Vale proper, that was far closer to Beacon than it was to the main city. It was well-stocked, to cater to humans and Faunus alike- the shop was in part funded by the academy to help them deal with the influx of students.

It mainly served as a place to buy cooking ingredients for the students- for dorm purposes as well as expeditions into Grimm territory. In more peaceful times, it was a haven for quick runs for the store for when students felt the need for a quick snack.

It was here where Jaune and Nora had decided to venture to in order to acquire the pasta ingredients. Nora squeed happily, looking around.

"Aww. There're only five brands of pancakes here." The berserker complained. "This place has no _variety_."  
"We're not here for pancakes." Jaune reminded her, sighing. "We're here for puttanesca sauce. You find olives and tomato preserve, I'll find the noodles."

Nora pouted, but saluted slowly. "Aye aye, captain." She scampered off into the aisles, as the knight picked up a basket.

"Alright, I've got to go find me some noodles, anchovies and capers." He took out a grocery list, reading it carefully.

"Gah...I really _have_ to go here more often. I barely know the aisles."

Jaune calmly strolled down the center aisle, reading his list and not realising that he was about to collide into someone-

"Ah!"

Jaune looked up just in time to see the person in front of him drop their basket onto the floor. He immediately ducked down to help pick up their stuff.

He immediately began to apologise. "Oh! I'm sorry, I wasn't looking and I-"  
"Jaune?"

The knight raised an eyebrow. He looked up to see Yang, tilting her head down at him.

"Jaune? What are you doing here? I've never seen you go here before." The brawler inquired curiously. "What's the occasion?"

"Oh! Um...I'm just buying some groceries." Jaune admitted casually. "Why're you here?"

"I need the munchies. And Rubes is going cookie mad." Yang admitted, pointing over at her sister, who was hugging a packet of cookies to her chest, laughing insanely.

"Heehee...don't worry...we'll never be separated again...heeheehee..." Ruby muttered to the pack. "Never again..."

Jaune laughed nervously. "Hehe, yeah. She can't stand not having her cookies, can't she?

Here." He hefted up the basket he'd accidentally tipped over, handing it over to Yang. "I grabbed your stuff. It should be all-"  
 _"Choose."_

' _...why am I even surprised.'_

" _Fall forwards and faceplant into Yang's chest. Alternatively, trip and land under Ruby's skirt, looking up without seeing anything."_

Jaune felt himself start to sweat. _'Craaaaaap. Well, even if I_ _ **don't**_ _see anything under her skirt, Yang's going to_ _ **think**_ _I did!_

 _I'd better pick choice one. At least that choice has a lesser chance of resulting in my life being ended horribly right here.'_

"Eheheheh...he-aah!" Jaune tripped forward, his face landing squarely into Yang's considerable chest.

The brawler stared down at him, blinking briefly.

"Eh? Jaune?"  
Jaune wrenched himself from her front, blushing profusely. "Eh! I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! I-"

"Oh, Jaune~" Yang giggled, winking mischievously at him. "Did you _really_ need to make up a terrible excuse to do _that_?"  
"E-EH?!"

"Oh, trust me~ You're not the first boy to try _that_ excuse~"

Jaune was almost speechless, twitching. "B-but I...I didn't-"

He stumbled back onto the shelf behind him, accidentally sending a pair of spice jars onto the floor, breaking them open.

' _Oh_ _ **shi-**_ **'**

"HEY!" A shelf stacker stared over at Jaune. "NO ROUGH-HOUSING!"

"I didn't-"

Yang frowned. "Ooooh, you're in _trouble_ ~"

"You have to _pay_ for those!"

* * *

 _Minutes later..._

Jaune stumbled into JNPR dorm, groaning and empty-handed. Nora stumbled in behind him, pouting.

"And, knowing my luck, those jars cost _exactly_ as much as I could _spend_ on ingredients." The knight groaned, falling onto his bed spread-eagled. "Oh, what am I gonna do..."

Nora frowned. "I'm hungry."  
"Ugh. _Nora._ " The knight hissed. "I'm kinda screwed here and all you can think about is you being _hungry_."  
The berserker's stomach rumbled. Jaune sighed, closing his eyes.

"Alright. I'm sorry, Nora. I shouldn't have snapped at you, okay? It's just...I might just _fail_ this mission, and...well, there goes any chance of getting rid of Absolute Choice...

...screw it. I have an...idea."

Nora tilted her head. "An idea?"  
"It's worth a shot. Nora, do we still have some cheese?"

Nora stared at him. "You're going to make savory pancakes?!"  
"What is with you and pancakes?! Damn it, no! I'm making her something else."

...

 _Ten minutes later..._

Jaune heard a knock at the door. He strolled over, looking through the peephole to verify it was in fact Winter- and lo and behold, the lady was standing outside his dorm, looking as calmly happy as ever.

He opened the door, moving aside to let her in. "Hey, Winter."  
"Good evening, Mister Arc." Winter nodded to him as she strolled in, looking around.

"So this is the illustrious JNPR dorm. I expected it to be far more...chaotic."  
"Heh. That's just Nora." The knight admitted, laughing. "The rest of us are a bit more organised."

The berserker pouted, crossing her arms from her bed. "Hmph, meanie..."

Winter looked over at the table. "And...what is that you have there?"  
"I...uh...didn't know what you'd like, so I went for the old Arc family specialty!" The knight moved to let Winter sit down in front of a steaming plate of grilled cheese sandwiches.

"Oh my." Winter smiled, rubbing her hands eagerly before taking one slice up and biting into it.

A squeal of delight could be heard from her as she swallowed the bite and wiped her cheek with a small handkerchief.

Jaune looked worried. "H-how is it?"  
"I...am impressed." Winter admitted, smiling. "How did you know I liked grilled cheese sandwiches?"  
"...you've had them before?"  
"My butler always made the best grilled cheese sandwiches for me." Winter admitted, smiling. "He always knew what to make.

The knight, for his part, was stunned. "...wait, so didn't you have gourmet chefs?"  
The lady smiled. "My...butler was one, but I never really _was_ one for such fine cuisine, save for caviar.

Were you worried that I would expect you to replicate such cuisine?"  
"I...uh...well, I thought..." Jaune rubbed the back of his head nervously. "You just seemed like...the kind of person who doesn't have...commoner food very much, that's all."  
"I was never really one for fine cuisine. I always much preferred the food of commoners." Winter chuckled. "...regardless, I appreciate the sentiment, and you are a surprisingly good cook.

Thank you, Mister Arc."

She went back to eagerly consuming the grilled cheese sandwiches. Jaune sighed in relief.

' _...she liked it. She actually_ _ **liked**_ _it. I-'_

Jaune's hips began gyrating as his phone vibrated furiously. The knight winced as Winter stared at him curiously.

"Oh my. Mister Arc?"  
"Ggh...that's just my phone..." The knight pulled his phone out, checking it.

He smiled in triumph as he realised exactly what had happened.

* * *

 _Message Sender:_ _ **God**_

 _Message Subject: Curse Elimination Mission_

 _Mission complete. Good job._

* * *

' _Yes! I did it! I...I finished the mission!'_ Jaune pumped his fist to celebrate his victory. _'Yes!_

 _Alright, well, at least that's one mission out of the-_

" _Choose. Either immediately start squirming on the ground like a dying worm or roll around like a dying pig for your victory dance."_

Jaune blanched. He looked over at Winter, who was still munching away at her sandwiches.

He groaned resignedly.

' _...I hate my life.'_

* * *

 **END**

* * *

 **Bonus Choice Omake!**

 _Choice Two: Just turn into a pot of coffee yourself._

"You know, this isn't so bad." I say to myself, looking around the room. There's not really all that much in Beacon's staff room- a bunch of pictures, a fairly cushy pair of armchairs and one or two shelves with books on top of them.

It's really not all that bad, being a pot of coffee. At least Absolute Choice left me alone. I mean, I can't move myself now, but I don't have to eat, sleep or do much of anything. I'm just content to sit here, and-

"Wait, wait, wait, is that...OH DUST"

And here comes one of the bad parts of the job, Professor Oobleck, with that crazed look saying 'I need my third load of coffee this morning'.

He always wants about ten jugs of coffee...and I can just about see that large kettle of boiling hot water.

On second thought, _this_ is Hell.

* * *

 **DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise Jaune would actually be a girl.**

 **NouCome belongs to Takeru Kasukabe.**

 **A/N: So, Jaune** _ **finally**_ **finishes his first mission! He just has...about five more to go! And a lot more mishaps to go! And a lot of shipping to get on with! Good god this is going to be hilarious.**

 **So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, reviews, criticisms, suggestions and thoughts, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	7. Doomed Missions and Attempted Wooing

"...huh. So you invited her over for some dinner because you felt like thanking her?" Pyrrha inquired curiously, nursing a cup of warm coffee under her chin, looking over at Jaune, who was gazing up sleepily at her.

It was a mild Saturday morning in Vale, with the morning sky a cool blue and clear of clouds. A light breeze blew through the trees, and the only people visible on campus were Professor Goodwitch, doing the morning rounds, and several students- Nora, unsurprisingly, among them- running around to start off the weekend. Jaune could even hear Nora screeching something about sloths in the distance.

Of course, Jaune hadn't planned on _joining_ them, but Absolute Choice, as always, conspired against him. It wasn't that he didn't _want_ to have coffee with Pyrrha- quite the opposite, he was always happy to talk to one of his closest friends; very simply, it was the fact that six o'clock in the morning, by the standards of any person who wasn't called Nora Valkyrie, was an _ungodly_ time to be having coffee-or much of anything, really.

Jaune frowned, sighing. "Yeah. I've not been having an nice week. Winter kinda helped out, I guess, so I felt I owed her a little something.

Really, she and I are just...acquaintances. We just met a week or so ago. Really!"

Pyrrha carefully sipped her coffee. "I...see. Alright. Understandable. I was just concerned you were jumping into a relationship quite too early."  
"H-hey!" The knight flailed around, waving his hands. "No, no! What gave you that idea?!"

The spearmaiden looked away suddenly, embarrassed. "Oh...just friendly concern, i-is all. Really.

I'm happy that you're making friends outside ourselves and Team RWBY. Miss Schnee seems like a nice person to befriend.

You're lucky to have befriended her."  
"I...guess I am." Jaune rubbed the back of his head, chuckling and taking a sip of his coffee. "She's pretty understanding. Just like you, I guess."  
"If she's understanding enough to tolerate you rolling around like a dying pig..." Pyrrha responded, smiling. The knight blushed, looking away slightly.

' _Yeah. She must be a_ _ **saint**_ _if she can put up with that and all the other things I_ _ **have**_ _to do...'_

The knight mused.

"What was that about, anyway? Why were you rolling around like a dying pig, anyway?" Pyrrha asked, curiously. "You...weren't trying to impress her with breakdancing, right?"  
"Breakdancing?" Jaune laughed nervously. "Y-yeah, of course I was breakdancing. Yeah! It's pretty-"  
"You know, Jaune, you've been acting weird lately." Pyrrha noted, sipping her own coffee. "You've been acting rather odd ever since I accidentally hit you in the head during our training. First, you sniff a girl's phone in the corridors, then you pull Weiss' underwear out of your bag, and now...this.

Are you entirely sure you're alright? We can go see a nurse about that if needed. You may have a concussion!" Pyrrha looked incredibly worried, reaching over to Jaune to look at him carefully.

"Are you sure you're entirely fine?"

"Pyrrha, I'm fine, really. I've had the nurse look at it." The knight reassured her, laughing. "I'm not concussed. I'm just...a little stressed, is all. Look, you don't have to worry. It'll clear up soon, alright? I'm fine!"

Pyrrha stared cautiously at him, frowning. Jaune smiled nervously, chuckling lightly.

' _I can't even tell her about Absolute Choice! The only people who'll even believe me are Blake and Nora...'_ Jaune noted, shuddering as he realised the issues.

' _I just have to play it cool and not worry her too much. Dust_ _ **knows**_ _what Absolute Choice would make me do with the_ _ **nurse**_ _...or_ _ **to**_ _her...that is, if it lets me go to one...'_

"...I see." The spearmaiden had an enigmatic look on her face. "Well...if you've been absolutely reassured of your good health, I'll take your word for it.

So...Jaune. Do you have anything planned today?"

"Uh...no." The knight shook his head. "I've got nothing, really. Why, you-"

" _Choose."  
'You're kidding.'_ Jaune grumbled. _'Now what?!'_

The choice boxes swirled around the table, displaying exactly what he could do at this point.

" _Offer to take Pyrrha out to a love hotel for the day. Alternatively, you may abandon Pyrrha, due to something else coming up for you."_

' _...this curse is going to kill what's left of my social life._ ' Jaune thought irritably. _'...no way in hell I'm inviting Pyrrha to a love hotel- one, she'd probably castrate me, and then Weiss would kill me, and then the whole school would probably mutilate what's left of my corpse..._

 _I have to go with choice two. I'm_ _ **really**_ _sorry about this, Pyrrha...'_

The choice boxes faded. Jaune sighed in relief, looking around immediately. Pyrrha looked at him strangely.

"Jaune? Is everything alright? You look like you saw something."  
"Oh. Uh..." The knight laughed nervously for the umpteenth time. "Nothing, I just-"

Suddenly, his phone started to vibrate incredibly quickly within his pocket, causing Jaune to wince and the entire table to shake, splashing drops of coffee everywhere.

"Ggh..." The knight muttered as he drew his phone, holding up his finger to Pyrrha. "J-just a second, I gotta take this..."

"Huh?" The spearmaiden tilted her head, lifting her coffee to ensure it wasn't being splashed. "What's going on? Are you expecting a call, Jaune?"  
"Actually, I wasn't." The knight admitted. "This was...pretty...out of the blue..."  
Hurriedly, the knight examined his phone, checking what exactly it was.

' _Ggh...what does that flippant god want_ _ **now**_ _?'_ Jaune thought, closing his eyes in resignation as he checked the message.

* * *

 _Message Sender:_ _ **God**_

 _Message Subject:_ _ **Curse Elimination Mission**_

 _Make Weiss Schnee smile sincerely with no sarcastic or condescending intent. Mission due by Monday._

 _No, this is most definitely not like that mission with Furano._

* * *

' _Make...Weiss...smile?'_ Jaune felt his eyelid twitch. _'...is this supposed to be some sort of...'_

He sighed, closing his eyes. _'Right, they definitely want to kill me. Or get me castrated.'_

"Jaune?" Pyrrha tilted her head. "You look as if you were just told to walk straight onto a minefield."  
Jaune exhaled resignedly. "I think I just _did_ get told to do that, in a way.

Listen, Pyrrha, something just came up, and I'll probably be _pretty_ busy for the rest of the day. Sorry."

She looked disappointedly at him. "You just said you were not busy at all for the rest of the day."  
"Something came up! Nora asked me to help her with their homework, you know?" The knight hastily lied, patting himself mentally on the back."And I can't just blow her off like that. I, uh, made a promise, after all."

' _Pyrrha, I'm really sorry about this...but I have to take this mission. When it's over, I'll explain everything, I promise.'_ Jaune swore, feeling guilty for having to abandon her again.

He stood up, taking up his lukewarm coffee. "Look, Pyrrha, I'm going to go now, alright? Nora said I need to meet her pretty soon.

We'll catch up...some other time, alright? I'll see you later!" He waved at her before running off.

He looked down at his phone as he did. _'Alright, I just have to find Nora and confer with her._

Pyrrha waved weakly at him. "Bye...Jaune..."

When he was out of earshot, Pyrrha sighed, looking down at her coffee.

"That was...odd." The spearmaiden noted mournfully. "But...if he has his obligations...I cannot simply stop him.

One day, Jaune. One day..."

* * *

 _Later, at JNPR dorm..._

Nora looked up at Jaune curiously, sitting on Jaune's bed. "So you've got to make _Weiss_ smile?"  
"Not laugh, and it has to be an actual, sincere smile." Jaune clarified, sinking next to the berserker and closing his eyes, lying back on the bed.

"At least cooking for Winter, I had a stroke of luck with the grilled cheese. How am I supposed to make Weiss laugh?

And who the heck is Furano?"

Nora gazed brightly at Jaune. "Never you worry! We'll get this mission done by Monday!"

She dove to her closet, rooting around in it briefly before yanking out a massive tome and tossing it lightly to Jaune, who caught it, grunting in mild pain.

"Ow..." The knight grumbled, staring at the book. "Ten Ways to Make an Ice-Cold Heiress Smile.

You...sure this isn't as bad as the other one, Nora?"

"As positive as pancakes are sweet!" The berserker nodded vigorously. Jaune studied the book with reluctance, frowning as he opened it.

"Alright...let's see what you got. Tip One...beg like a dog at her feet." The knight's eyes narrowed. "Yeah, not gonna happen.

Tip Two...admit your inferiority and stroke her ego. What the hell?! I'm not a freaking sycophant! Good Dust..." Jaune rubbed his temples. "Who writes this stuff?!"  
"God!" Nora pointed out happily. Jaune's expression suddenly turned even more irritated.

"That...explains a lot, actually." The knight sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I have half a mind to find this 'God' and give him a good slap..."

He tossed the book aside, shaking his head. "Well, do _you_ have any tips on trying to make Weiss smile?"  
"You _could_ get her a sloth doll! It makes _me_ smile!" Nora cheered, giggling.

"Yeah, that's just you."  
"A cute dog doll?"  
"They have Zwei for that."  
"A cute _shark_ doll?"  
Jaune stared at her in disbelief. "In what world would Weiss like sharks? Sounds like a crappy fanfic or something.

You're not _helping_!"

"Um...you could...err...bake her some pancakes?"  
"She hates those after you accidentally doused her in batter during that one lunchtime food fight." The knight pointed out. The berserker nodded, remembering.

"Ahhh, right. So...I guess...you can't make her smile! I'm sorry." Nora shrugged. Jaune groaned.

"Gee, you're such a good helper. Dammit, I'm going over to find Blake. Maybe she'll know what to do..."

Jaune stood up and headed out of the room, looking for the catgirl. Nora huffed and pouted, pulling a mini-pancake out of her pocket.

"Hmph. Meanie." The berserker huffed. "I don't see why my _ideas_ wouldn't work..."

...

"You want to make Weiss smile?" Blake inquired, staring at Jaune as he looked pleadingly at her. The pair were just around the corner from RWBY dorm, with Blake on a bench, reading what seemed to be a collection of Valean fairy tales.

The knight nodded. "Yeah. The missions said I had to make her smile by Monday."

"Couldn't you just say something stupid that'd make her-oh, probably not allowed by the mission, huh." The catgirl realised, sighing. Jaune nodded to confirm her fears.

"It has to be a sincere smile, not one from condescension or sarcasm." He clarified, showing her the text message. "You know what she might like?"  
"Hum." The catgirl looked up in thought, crossing her arms and tapping her finger carefully. "Well...that's pretty tough, actually. Weiss smiles less than Ren talks for longer than one minute.

You're going to have a challenge on your hands if that's what you need to do. And if there's something she'd really like, I don't know. Maybe Zwei...but if you're asking me to go near him, I'm not about to get involved."

Jaune shook his head, resigned. "So...I really _am_ screwed."

"Not...entirely." Blake pointed out. "There _is_ one more person you could ask. I mean, I'd point you to Ruby, but she's been gone for the whole day.

She said something about fixing her weapons. I mean, you could ask...Winter, I suppose."

"That's...not a bad plan." Jaune admitted, smiling in gratitude. "Thanks, Blake. I'll find her right away.

By the way...Yang didn't say anything about...the grocery, right?"  
"The grocery?" Blake blinked. "Why would she say something about- Absolute Choice?"  
"You _really_ don't want to know." Jaune responded, shuddering at the memory of it. "Alright, well, I'll see you later then.

Thanks for the help!"

Jaune began to move to head off, before-

" _Choose."_ The voice boomed, with its slightly mocking tone, as if taunting the knight with the idea of having to choose once more.

' _COME ON!'_

" _Pet Blake on the head and call her a 'good kitty' for helping you. Alternatively, offer Blake a little fishie for helping you out."_

' _That's...racist and offensive on so many levels...'_ The knight thought, weighing the consequences of each choice.

' _I'll have to go with...choice one.'_

He immediately strolled over, standing over Blake. The catgirl tilted her head.

"Huh? Jaune? I thought-WAH!" She yelped as the knight began patting her on the head, giving her a cringing smile.

"Hehe...good kitty...you're a good kitty, you know that, Blake? Who's the good kitty! You are! Yesss you are!" The knight praised her in an artificially high, happy voice.

Blake just gave him a deadpan stare. "...if it wasn't for Absolute Choice, you wouldn't be standing right now."  
"I...I'm _really_ sorry, Blake, okay! I'll try to make it up to you!" Jaune yelped as he ran away, going to find Winter.

* * *

 _Elsewhere..._

Winter was calmly sitting on a bench on the other side of the school, calmly enjoying the fresh air. She had her face looking up, the sunlight lightly warming her face.

"It is rare that such an opportunity comes up nowadays." The lady stated with a sigh. "Very rare..."

"Winter!"

She looked up to whoever called her name, to see Jaune running towards her. "Hey! Winter!"  
"Oh." She smiled, waving lightly at him. "Hello, Mister Arc. To what may I owe this pleasure?"  
"I need your help with something!" The knight cried as he stopped in front of her, catching his breath. "...do you mind if it's a little private?"

' _Private?'_ Winter looked curiously at him. She tilted her head. "What might you mean by private?"

"It...involves your sister."

"My...sister?" Winter put a finger to her lip thoughtfully. "...what might you need?"  
"What might make her smile? You know her pretty well, so I'm thinking you might know, right?" Jaune stated breathlessly. Winter's eyes widened.

' _He wants to...make Weiss smile?'_ The lady inquired. _'What? Why could he possibly want to make her smile? He is hardly a comedian...and I know her birthday is not any time soon. That means only...one thing..._

 _Oh my. He wishes to...woo her? This is...very interesting...and Weiss and Mister Arc together? Perhaps...he could...I have to aid him in any way I can.'_

Winter clenched her fists, looking up at Jaune determinedly. "I see what you wish to do now!"  
"...you do?" Jaune stared at her, confused. Winter nodded quickly.

"I do indeed." The lady nodded hurriedly. "That is why...you must come with me immediately!"

She grabbed his hand, standing up. Jaune stepped back, flailing.

"Wah?! What are you-"  
"I am going to instruct you in the art of pleasing my sister!" Winter declared proudly. "And then you will finally succeed in making her smile!"  
 _'Did she...not notice the innuendo? Oh, right, she's...pretty innocent...'_ Jaune realised, sighing. _'Well, this is better than nothing, right?'_

Winter, meanwhile, was thinking about something else.

' _Weiss and Mister Arc...maybe if I can aid him in this...she would finally see him for the gentleman he truly is, instead of constantly calling him a dunce.'_ The lady reasoned. _'...I have to help him._

 _It is only the right thing for a sister to do.'_

"Come with me at once. I will have to start your training immediately!"

* * *

 **To be continued...**

* * *

 **BONUS OMAKE:**

 _Choice Two: Offer to take Pyrrha out to a love hotel for the day._

"So, Mister Arc! Where did you learn to become so...popular with the ladies?" The interviewer asks me as I lay back on my golden throne laid with velvet cushions.

I just have to shrug and smile. "Well, I amassed my vast harem rather quickly, yes."  
"And what's your secret?"

"...well..." I laugh, popping up to give one of the girls a kiss on the cheek as she scurries up. "...I had to start somewhere, didn't I?

It all began on one fateful morning, back in Beacon. I'm pretty sure it all started with Pyrrha- bless her, she used to be so shy- and...it kinda spiralled once I decided to take her to a love hotel."  
"And how do you feel about the title 'Sexiest Man in the Four Kingdoms?"

I just smile smugly.

"I think it suits me perfectly."

* * *

 **DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise one character would have ki bursts as their Semblance.**

 **NouCome belongs to Takeru Kasukabe.**

 **A/N: Well, the second mission is upon us, Winter thinks Jaune's trying to woo Weiss, Jaune himself has absolutely NO clue, and things are about to get hilarious. It's a normal day in one of my fanfics, basically.**

 **So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, reviews, criticisms, thoughts and suggestions, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	8. Mistaken Intentions and Funny Letters

_Beacon Library..._

"Why do I feel like this situation's familiar..." Jaune groaned, sitting at a desk. Winter was in front of him, tapping a small blackboard with a small wooden pointer. She was crossing her arms, looking down seriously at the knight.

"Now, Mister Arc, you _must_ take this seriously." Winter warned him sternly. "My sister is fairly quick to anger, and very hard to achieve the favour of. In order to make her smile as you desire, you must follow my instructions."  
"Right..." Jaune nodded slowly, tilting his head. "You know, I just want to-"  
Winter held up a finger. "I understand completely, Mister Arc. I know how much Weiss matters to you, so I will do my best to ensure you complete your task!"

' _Huh. She really wants to help me out with this...'_ The knight mused, chuckling. _'Maybe I'm not completely screwed...'_

The lady cleared her throat, adjusting her collar. "Alright. Your first lesson in making Weiss smile! You must first stray away from doing anything that might make her think you are truly a pervert!"  
Jaune stared at her briefly before looking down, embarrassed. "Ehh...I think I failed _that_ requirement. Several times over."

"Hm." Winter rubbed her chin pensively. "Alright. On to tip two. Be as polite as possible."  
"So...always refer to her as Miss Schnee, like you always call me Mister Arc?" Jaune pointed out, sincerely interested. Winter giggled, shaking her head.

"No, that is just an unfortunate habit of mine that I have been long unable to shake off." The lady admitted. "My sister always tries to press me to take classes to get rid of that verbal tic.

Anyway, to continue my lesson. One must be careful to not run afoul of my sister's rather narrow sense of humour. She considers many things boorish and fit only for fools, and that might induce her rather unfortunately short temper to fly out of control."  
"Boorish?" Jaune tilted his head slowly, looking concerned. "What might she consider...boorish?"

Winter frowned slightly, before thinking carefully. "...what others might consider mainstream humour."  
 _'Ahhhhh_ _ **crap**_ _.'_ The knight thought, disbelieving. _'I knew this was too good to be true...'_

Jaune groaned, exasperated. "Dammit. How hard is it to please her?"  
"She is easy to please, if you know what to and what not to do..." Winter pointed out helpfully. "But if you really want to make her happy, perhaps you should write her a letter!"

' _Of course. A heartfelt gesture like a love letter will certainly speed this along.'_ The lady thought, smiling and rubbing her hands together eagerly. _'If Weiss sees how eloquent Mister Arc truly is, she will surely fall for him!'_

Jaune nodded slowly, grinning. "Now that you mention it...a funny letter might just do the trick. Thanks, Winter, I'll get on it right away."

The lady clapped proudly. "Good to see that you're taking my sister very seriously! I would have it no other way. Good luck, Jaune. I believe you're perfect for her."  
"...perfect for her?" The knight tilted his head, confused. Winter giggled lightly, hiding her mouth with her hand.

"Oh, I see how it is, Mister Arc. I see."

"I...don't get what you're saying." The knight scratched his head, before exhaling. "Alright. Well, I'd better be going now. See you later, wish me luck!"

The knight pulled himself up, strolling off towards the library doors. Winter smiled warmly, before sighing happily.

"Mister Arc truly is a gentleman, to wish to make my sister happy. I hope Weiss understands how lucky she is, to have someone so _dedicated_ wishing to do that..." She sighed dreamily.

* * *

 _JNPR Dorm..._

Jaune burst in, rubbing the back of his head and causing Nora to look up. She tilted her head at him curiously.

"Jaune, what happened? Where'd you run off too? I've been bored for two _minutes_!" The berserker whined, pouting. The knight raised an eyebrow.

"Two _minutes_? Nora, I've been gone for an hour, what did you _do_ for the other fifty-eight?" Jaune inquired, somewhat horrified. Nora raised a finger, rubbing the back of her head and laughing nervously

"Heehehe... _pleaaaaase_ don't tell Ren?"

Suddenly, Jaune heard several loud screams from the other side of the school, followed by someone wailing about 'the batter'. He cupped his hand onto his ear to pick up on what they were screaming.

"THE BATTER! IT'S _MOVING! IT'S MOOOOVING_!"

The knight turned back to Nora, his eyes narrowing. "What did you _do_..."

"I tried to make myself some pancakes for lunch!" The berserker protested. "Ren wouldn't make me any, so I decided to go for it myself!"

"..." Jaune raised a finger, before shaking his head. "Y'know, I don't want to ask what that ended up doing.

Just sit down and look for a book teaching you how to write a letter or something."

"A letter?" Nora inquired, curious. "What do you mean? How's that supposed to help you finish the mission?"

Jaune rubbed the back of his head casually. "Winter thought that if I make a funny letter for Weiss, it'd make her smile. Seeing as she _is_ Weiss' sister, she's the closest we have to an authority on how Weiss thinks."

Nora touched her chin with a finger. "A funny letter? This isn't the time of the dinosaurs! Only people with crappy black-and-white TVs and torches write letters!"

"...riiight. " Jaune sighed, shaking his head at Nora. "Well, if Ren comes in, you can explain to him why there's a giant pancake batter monster going around the campus or whatever. In the meantime, d'you mind looking for an aid book for writing a letter?"

Nora pouted at him, but agreed, crawling over to the closet to dig through her collection of aid books. Meanwhile, the knight settled down at the dorm's computer, booting up a word processor.

"This should be pretty-"

" _Choose."_

' _...you know, I really should've seen this coming.'_ Jaune sighed, listening carefully to the voice. _'Alright, what do you want?'_

The voice continued, uncaring for his plight. _"Your first choice is to have your computer locked on a screamer. Your second choice is to have birds fly into the dorm and poop on your head."_

Jaune groaned. _'...well, I can still write a letter if my computer malfunctions, but there's no way in hell Weiss is going to forgive me if I come to her smelling of bird poop._

 _Choice one, please.'_

The choice boxes faded, as his computer suddenly flipped onto a screaming rotating shrunken head, letting out an unearthly scream. The knight jumped in shock, staring at the screen.

"W-what the-?!"

Nora was clearly alarmed, as she turned around to face what was going on. "Good Dust, what's going on?! What are you _doing_ , Jaune?!"  
"Absolute Choice screwed up my computer!" Jaune yelled over the screaming, making his way over to the socket to unplug the computer. The screaming cut out immediately as the screen turned off and the power lights faded to black instantly.

He sighed in relief, shortly before the CPU emitted a loud snapping sound and began smoking. He groaned, rubbing his temples in exasperation as the dorm filled with the smell of smoke.

"And now my computer's broken. _Perfect._ " The knight exhaled, before peering over at the dresser. "Well, there's always the good old fashioned way of writing letters..."

He strolled over and rooted through the dresser, taking out a pen and paper, before laying it down across the desk and tapping it expectantly with his pen.

"Nora, how's the search going? Has anyone ever had to do something like this for a Curse Eliminating Mission?"

She was still rooting through her closet, tilting her head. "Let's see...Ten Tips to Make a Perfect Newsletter, Ten Tips to Make a Perfect Open Letter, Ten Tips to Make a Letter of Execution..."  
" _E-Execution_?!" Jaune was taken aback. "W-what kind of mission did _that_ one involve?!"

Nora looked solemnly at him, sighing. "It was a sad day...a sad day for slothkind...wait, I think I found it!"

Turning back to the closet, she yanked out a massive tome and hurled it at Jaune's side. The knight took the hit, groaning as he grabbed it, rubbing his side.

"Ow...you didn't have to throw it _that_ hard, Nora..." The knight reproached her, before pulling the tome up to read it.

"Let's see now...the first tip says to...tell the receiver how much you love them? What the..." He blushed.

"I-I'm not writing a love letter here! Dammit! What's the second tip!" He flipped the page quickly as Nora tilted her head, reading it over his back.

"Tip two...always refer to them in the most flowery terms you can think of...like comparing them to Venu-Nora, are you sure this isn't about love letters?"

The berserker pulled the tome from his hands, showing him the cover, 'Ten Ways to Make The Perfect Letter'. "No, it's a good one."

He groaned, before waving off the tome. "Alright. Nora, you can put that away, I'll just make the letter on my own.

I swear, after this mission's over, I'm going to talk to that flippant god about how crappy his 'help books' are..."

"That's pretty mean." Nora pouted.

"It told me to outright _lie_ to people!"  
"You lie anyway! It's not like you can tell the truth about the whole Absolute Choice thing..."

Jaune shrugged. "True, but I'm not going to lie if I don't have to! And seriously, _begging like a dog?!_ Dammit, I still have to have some dignity here!

Ggh...alright, just let me write this thing." Jaune turned back to the empty sheet of paper, looking at it carefully.

"What to write, what to write..."

* * *

 _An hour later, outside..._

"It was pretty funny, you know." Yang giggled. "I kinda just flirted with him and he went all _blushy_ and crashed into an aisle."

Blake rolled her eyes. "Yang, do you _have_ to flirt with every person who does anything vaguely perverted to you?"  
"No, just Jaune! It's funny! And anyway, as a Xiao Long, I'm encouraged- nay, _obliged_ to spread the love!" The brawler cheered, grinning mischievously before pulling Blake into a tight hug.

"Like this~!"

The catgirl squealed, blushing embarrassedly. "Y-Yang! Let go! T-this is embarrassing!"

"Whaaaat?" The brawler smirked, teasing her. "I'm only _hugging_ you, Blakey~

"Ggh...you're pressing my cheek into your chest..."

"I'm spreading the love~"

Suddenly, Blake saw Jaune round the corner, clutching a letter in his hands. The catgirl blanched in terror.

' _I'm done for. My reputation is absolutely, positively_ _ **done for**_ **...'**

"Hey, Yang, Blake!" Jaune called over to them, before freezing. "Um..."

Yang waved at him, while still hugging Blake tightly. "Heeeey, Jauney-boy~"

"Um...I can come back another time, if this is too private..." The knight moved to leave, before Yang waved at him.

"No, no, it's fine! What did you want?"

Blake squeaked out, raising her hand. "Help...me..."

"Uh..." Jaune looked awkwardly at the situation, as the brawler relinquished her friend. "...I want you guys to read this."

He passed Yang the letter. The brawler pored over it, reading it carefully.

"...the heck is this?"  
"It's a letter for Weiss."

Blake stared at the letter in Yang's hands, before mouthing over at Jaune, "Part of the mission?". The knight nodded in the affirmative, causing Blake to sigh in relief.

"...huh. Pretty funny." The brawler giggled, passing it back to Jaune. "Here. Hope Weiss likes it."  
Jaune took it back gingerly, staring at her. "...you're not going to make a joke about it? Or me?"

Yang shook her head. "No, silly! I'm rooting for you!"

"...you are?" Jaune eyed her suspiciously. Yang nodded, clapping happily.

"Of course! I'm all for this! Go on and make her laugh!" The brawler clapped him on the shoulder. Jaune just looked at her strangely.

"...I don't want to know. I'll...uh..."

" _Choose."_

Jaune loudly groaned, as the boxes swirled around him once more.

" _You may either ask Yang if you could get in on the hugging action, or ask to cuddle Blake tightly."_

' _GO AWAY. NO! NO! I AM NOT ASKING-gyaaaaahhhhh my head...'_ Jaune clutched his head tightly as a bolt of pain shot through it, imploring him to choose immediately.

' _Gggh...I hate you. I hate you! I'm going for choice one.'_

The boxes faded away, and Jaune sighed, breathing heavily.

"...Yang. Do you...errr...mind if I...uh..." He blushed slightly, staring at her. "...join...in the hugging?"

The brawler grinned. "...sure thing! You can have prime spot between me and Blake!"

The catgirl flailed, shaking her head. "NO! YANG!"

Jaune took that as his cue to escape, embarrassed by the comment.

"I-I'll see you guys later! Uh...bye!" With that, he escaped around the corner, leaving a grinning Yang and a very embarrassed Blake.

"...w-what was that for?!" The catgirl cried, feeling violated. Yang turned to her, grinning.

"I needed to do that to get him out of the way so we can plot!"  
"...plot?"

"How we're going to break it to Weiss that Jaune's in _luuuurve_ with her and is going all out to get her! I mean, she already knows about the flirting." Yang admitted, chuckling. "But...you know, this is true love!

We've got to get those two together! We're going to play matchmaker, Blakey! It's going to be _fun_!"

' _Oooooh Dust.'_ Blake realised, blanching. _'...it seems Absolute Choice isn't the only thing Jaune has to contend with..._

 _...whatever mission he's dealing with, I can only hope it goes right. It seems like_ _ **everything**_ **'** _ **s**_ _already gone wrong for him.'_

* * *

 **To be continued...**

* * *

 **DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise Ruby would have a motorcycle like Yang.**

 **NouCome belongs to Takeru Kasukabe.**

 **A/N: No bonus omake today, sorry. However, we're setting up for the end of Jaune's second mission. Obviously, he's going to succeed- otherwise the story might as well end next chapter- but now, the question is...** _ **how**_ **horribly will everything go** _ **right**_ **in the process?**

 **So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, suggestions, criticisms, reviews and thoughts, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


End file.
